Saturday, December 31, 2005

Counting Blessings

Quiet day around Poverty Flats here. The kids left yesterday, although the boys did treat me to a four hour session at Hooters between airport buses. Today was spent taking down the Christmas decorations and our big New Years Eve was a steak dinner at the VFW and home by seven o'clock. We're just not party animals. So we were planted in our respective spots in the living room, Old Sarge in his recliner watching TV and me on the couch with my nose in another Harry Potter book, when we both heard a noise outside. I figured it must be at the neighbors, but then there was a soft tap at the front door and it opened. Very strange, any of our family or friends stopping by at this time of night.

Unless of course...

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You just got back from Iraq less than 48 hours ago and wanted to surprise your parents!!!!

Thursday, December 29, 2005


Just got a call from Joe's fiancee- his plane lands in Georgia at 2:00 a.m.

This is the first time since I can't remember when that we have NO boys deployed.

What a strange, good feeling!

Wednesday, December 28, 2005

Just Perfect...

Going with the theory that a picture is worth a thousand words, I'll just post a few pictures of the best Christmas I've ever had.

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Preparations were made...

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Hey, I can't buy them matching jammies anymore...

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Young Sergeant got an extremely cool gift from Grandpa...

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The girls in red dresses had stair races...

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The kids went hunting, and Kate got her "blood stripe" by shooting the ass off a rabbit...

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All in all, a VERY wonderful Christmas.

Thursday, December 22, 2005

Merry Christmas!

I doubt very much I'll take the time to post until Tuesday, so all of you, have a very Merry Christmas!

Conversations in My Kitchen

4:00 a.m.:
"Ma, I'm sorry, I've just been rambling on and talking too much."

"That's okay, I've waited a long time to hear you talk."

He's home.

32 hours now until the next chick comes home to roost.

Wednesday, December 21, 2005

Oh Yippee!

I guess I can't say anything bad about the Yooon-yun for awhile. The Operators Business Agent has decided that we need to be closed both Friday and Monday for the holiday weekends.

This just hurts my feelings sooooo bad.

Now if we could just stay closed all of next week, life would be grand.

What the?

Airport: AMSTERDAM, NL Chicago (O'Hare), IL
Scheduled Time: 10:40 AM, Dec 21 12:25 PM, Dec 21
Actual Time: 11:03 AM, Dec 21 (Estimated) 12:10 PM, Dec 21 (Estimated)
Status: Delayed

Guess I'll have to wait for more caffeine to kick in before I understand how arriving 15 minutes early results in a delayed status. At any rate, I am so ready.
See, even though my head knows Dan has been back from Iraq since February, until I get hands on confirmation, it won't be real for me until then. But, the pantry is stocked, the upstairs bedrooms are relatively clean, (I forgot to dust!!!) and it is no longer possible to walk through the room where the Christmas tree is due to a large amount of presents. I did manage to forget to buy Coors and Black Haus, but this can be quickly remedied. And, bless them, the Shell station and fire dept. both have Welcome Home Dan on their outside marquees. Okay, again, I KNOW he's been back, but one of the saving graces of a small town is that they truly welcome back their veterans.

I'm babbling. Sorry. But it's been a very long time since we've all been together for Christmas. No one ever knows when we can do this again, and I so want this to be our best one ever.

One quick story-
Years ago, when I was a single mom and just poorer than dirt out in Arizona, I was determined to make things as Christmas-y as possible. On a Friday night after work, I took the kids to get our tree. Bad move, it was too close to dinner time, they were tired, and hungry, the store was overcrowded and my patience was at its limits. Kate started crying in the check out line, really having a grand mal hissy, and I spanked her. Being only marginally potty trained at the time, she had an accident. I felt so horrible. Never spanked her again, either. But finally we got home, ate and got the tree up. I had zero money for many ornaments, so we took old wrapping paper, poster board, glitter and ribbon and made our own. And you know, to this day, that always stands out as the prettiest tree I'd ever seen.

Tuesday, December 20, 2005

Unwanted Visitor

Have you seen those commercials with the little green slimey man that takes up residence in your lungs? I think he's paid me an unwanted visit. Yesterday morning I was fine, then about 10:00 a.m., it felt like I'd had a load of bricks dropped on my chest. I've coughed so much, I sound like Gollum getting rid of a hairball when I try to talk.
How's your breakfast NOW?

Anyway, like clockwork, I have to work the vacation schedule and promptly get bronchitis. It's nice to know there's things you can count on in life. And am I down about it- HELL no, too much to do before the really really wanted visitors start coming in!

Monday, December 19, 2005

Santa scared her to tears on Saturday, but The Heiress seems to have no problem with the oldest son's facial hair attempt.

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Counting down...

47 hours and 10 minutes...

Thursday, December 15, 2005

Wasted Days and Wasted Nights

Me? No, absolutely not! Model of sobriety am I, and not even cranky about it! My problem this morning is entirely with the calender- I don't have near enough to Christmas shop. I have no idea on gifts. No bonus yet to shop with, but thank God my savings account is healthy. I just desperately want a little time to ENJOY this. My house isn't as decorated as I would like it to be, I've only gotten to bake once, and my loved ones have me stumped on perfect gifts. Add to that, one son will be here in less than a week, daughter two days later, another son on Christmas Day and I have barely uncovered ONE bed in one bedroom. At least you can walk to it now. I looked around this room the other night thinking, What the hell is wrong in here? What is wrong is that while I painted it three years ago, I never bought the wallpaper to put up or looked into recarpeting it. Bare bare bare. The other bedroom/office doesn't even bear thinking about right now.
Where is all the time going?

Wednesday, December 14, 2005

Crappy Holidays

"Precipitation has entered into your area of concern."

Some years ago, my company purchased its own weather satellite so that we could track weather better. This summer, I updated the equipment to include new features like a lightning detector, very important when with all the metal around here, it's like working in a lightning rod, not to mention all the explosives. One feature that I hadn't known was included was...the damn thing TALKS!! I'm sitting here by myself at 5 a.m., and this little computer-generated voice is telling me the EXTREMELY obvious, that we are probably going to get buried in snow today.

In case you were wondering, no, it does not respond to profanity.

Tuesday, December 13, 2005

The Big Doe

me: Yeah, what's up?
bro: The boys said this is the biggest deer they've ever seen.
me: oh shit!

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Just for clarification, my nephew stands about 5'.

Have I mentioned that I may be getting just a little tired of deer??

From the Archives

I posted this last year when I was still on Live Journal, and it still tugs at my heart. I wish I could give credit to the site I found it at, but I just don't remember.

The Sands of Christmas

I had no Christmas spirit when I breathed a weary sigh,
and looked across the table where the bills were piled too high.
The laundry wasn't finished and the car I had to fix,
My stocks were down another point, the Dolphins lost by six.

And so with only minutes till my son got home from school,
I gave up on the drudgery and grabbed a wooden stool.
The burdens that I carried were about all I could take,
and so I flipped the TV on to catch a little break.

I came upon a desert scene in shades of tan and rust;
No snowflakes hung upon the wind, just clouds of swirling dust.
And where the reindeer should have stood before a laden sleigh,
eight hummers ran a column right behind an M1A.

A group of boys walked past the tank, not one was past his teens,
Their eyes were hard as polished flint, their faces drawn and lean.
They walked the street in armor with their rifles shouldered tight,
their dearest wish for Christmas, just to have a silent night.

Other soldiers gathered, hunkered down against the wind,
To share a scrap of mail and dreams of going home again.
There wasn't much at all to put their lonely hearts at ease,
They had no Christmas turkey, just a pack of MRE's.

They didn't have a garland or a stocking I could see,
They didn't need an ornament-- they lacked a Christmas Tree.
They didn't have a present even though it was tradition,
the only boxes I could see were labeled "ammunition".

I felt a little tug and found my son now by my side.
He asked me what it was I feared, and why it was I cried.
I swept him up into my arms and held him oh so near
and kissed him on the forehead as I whispered in his ear.

There's nothing wrong, my little son, for safe we sleep tonight,
our heroes stand on foreign land to give us all the right,
to worry about the things in life that really mean nothing at all,
instead of wondering each day if we will be the next to fall.

He looked at me as children do and said it's always right,
to thank the ones who help us and perhaps that we should write.
And so we pushed aside the bills and sat to draft a note,
to thank the many far from home, and this is what we wrote,

God bless you all and keep you safe, and speed your way back home.
Remember that we love you so, and that you're not alone.
The gift you give, you share with all, a present every day,
You give the gift of liberty and that we can't repay.

~~ Author Unknown

Courtesy of SGT Hook, I've got another list to send Christmas cards to. Please- do the same!

Monday, December 12, 2005

HUNTING Season- Post Scriptus

On Friday we finally got the last of our venison processed. I can't remember ever getting that much yield out of five deer. We made at least 140 lbs. of bratwurst, and I have no idea how many snack sticks and summer sausage we made. Sarge and I also kept 10 lbs. of ground venison for jerky later. So three days of cutting, grinding and stuffing in a semi-heated shed really paid off, but the standing-on-concrete that long- OOOOpphhh!
My brother had been teasing (I thought) that Sunday was the last day for black powder rifles and that he was going out. Despite the collective groan from the rest of us, he did. Last night when we were dropping his boys off, my brother and his wife were just coming in from the field, and I was relieved to say the least that the back of the Artic Cat was empty. Brother thought he had hit something, but there was no blood trail.
So this morning, we had the following conversation:
me: Yeah, what's up?
bro: Hey, I got good news!
me: You saved a bunch of money on your car insurance?
bro: No, I found that deer I shot! A huge doe! Bet we can make another 150 lbs. of brats!!
me: You S%n of a B*@$CH!

So much for Christmas shopping tonight!

Oh It Is Early!

Well, since I have PLENTY of time in the morning now to do stuff, (I'm getting to work an hour and a half before I need to, courtesy of my very kind a.m. chauffeur) I decided to put my time to good use. If you didn't read this last week, I'll link to Matt's piece. I stocked up on Christmas cards this weekend and am addressing as many as I can to soldiers at Walter Reed. I would hope everyone can take a few minutes out of their busy holiday schedule to do the same.
Another burr up my ass this morning is the possible protest of Andrew Patten's funeral today. Via, apparently Fred Phelps' group of wackos is planning on disrupting this family's last few hours with their fallen son. We talked to some VFW members from the Rockford area on Saturday, and they are not going to let this stand. I wish Sarge and I could be there to help, but I know the men and women there will do their best to keep these assholes at bay.
I very rarely have anything good to say about Illinois government, but our Lt. Governor is a gem. Pat Quinn is proposing a law that would prohibit protests within 300' of any military funeral. I don't know if it stands a chance of passing, but God bless Lt. Gov. Quinn for always keeping the welfare of our armed forces and their families first and foremost. Damn, if he ever ran for Governor, I might even vote Democrat!

Friday, December 09, 2005

Miss Me?

Sorry for the lack of posting. I had a dandy ready to go on Wednesday, but since our computers have been crashing an average of four times a day, I lost it. Just didn't have the energy to re-create that much venim. Olus, I had The Big Court Date on Thursday that I was worried about. My lawyer was VERY optimistic about the chances of my suspension being rescinded. After viewing the videotape, I thought it looked good too- my driving was perfect, right up until the squad car turned on his lights and sirens and scared the piss out of me.
I'll spare everyone the details and my whining. Let's just say that trying to find a ride to work for the next 30+ days is going to be a challenge for EVERYONE.

So...knowing from the get go that I had a shit sandwich on my plate, I'll do what has to be done, pay what has to be paid and put ot put of my mind for now kids are almost here and I can't wait to see them!!

Monday, December 05, 2005

Okay, I may have been a little evil in my Christmas shopping:

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But I didn't go completely over to the Dark Side:

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Bwaaa-hahahaha! Grandchildren are so much fun!

Shot Gun Season- Finale

Oh my Lord, is it c-c-c-cold outside! My car thermometer hit -5 degrees this morning on the way to work. That's cold, I don't care who you are.

But at least it's keeping the "harvest" in good shape. This is what the mighty hunters managed to do second season:

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No one saw anything after Friday night. When Sarge and I went to the check in station, they said that only 60 deer had been checked in that say- way down from last year.
So, tonight after a little more lawyering, we'll be making cheddar-onion brats. God knows nothing says love like rinsing out sheep intestines!

Saturday, December 03, 2005

Shotgun Season- Part IV

As soon as my camera re-charges I'll post pictures, but Sarge got a nice 10 point last night. Hurray! Finally something with antlers!

And Contagion, if you want those hides, you need to check your email and call me. Love ya, man, but I ain't tanning no hides.

Friday, December 02, 2005

Friday Funnies

I usually get a big yawn out of email jokes, but today I received a few that are worth passing along. Either that, or I'm just too lazy to post. Anyway, I hope you enjoy these better than you liked my crappy poetry.

If you consider it a sport to gather your food by drilling through 18 inches of ice and sitting there all day hoping that the food will swim by, you might live in Illinois.

If your local Dairy Queen is closed from November through March, you might live in Illinois.

If someone in a store offers you assistance & they don't work there, you might live in Illinois.

If your dad's suntan stops at a line curving around the middle of his forehead, you might live in Illinois.

If you have ever worn shorts and a parka at the same time, you might live in Illinois.

If your town has an equal number of bars and churches, you might live in Illinois.

If you have had a lengthy telephone conversation with someone who dialed a wrong number, you might live in Illinois.

1. Vacation means going north or south on I-39 for the weekend.
2. You measure distance in hours.
3. You know several people who have hit a deer more than once.
4. You often switch from heat to AC in the same day and back again.
5. You can drive 65 mph through 2 feet of snow during a raging blizzard, without flinching.
6. You see people wearing camouflage at social events (including weddings).
7. You install security lights on your house and garage and leave both unlocked.
8. You carry jumper cables in your car and know how to use them.
9. You design your kids Halloween costume to fit over a snowsuit.
10. Driving is better in the winter because the potholes are filled with snow.
11. You know all 5 seasons: almost winter, winter, still winter, road construction, & It's Hot.
12. Your idea of creative landscaping is a statue of a deer next to your blue spruce.
13. Down south means Missouri to you.
14. A brat is something you eat.
15. Your neighbor throws a party to celebrate his new pole shed.
16. You go out to a tailgate party every Friday.
17. You have more miles on your snow blower than your car.
18. You find 0 degrees a "little chilly".

This is a story about a couple who had been happily married for
The only friction in their marriage was the husband's habit of farting loudly every morning when he awoke. The noise would wake his wife and the smell would make her eyes water and make her gasp for air. Every morning she would plead with him to stop ripping them off because it was making her sick. Hetold her he couldn't stop it and that it was perfectly natural.
She told him to see a doctor; she was concerned that one day he would blow
his guts out. The years went by and he continued to rip them out! Then one Thanksgiving morning as she was preparing the turkey for dinner and he was
upstairs sound asleep, she looked at the bowl where she had put the turkey innards and neck, gizzard,liver and all the spare parts and a malicious thought came to her. She took the bowl and went upstairs where her husband was sound asleep and gently puling back the bed covers, she pulled back the elastic waistband of his underpants and emptied the bowl of turkey guts into his shorts. Some time later she heard her husband waken with his usual trumpeting which was followed by a blood curdling scream and the sound of frantic footsteps as he ran into the bathroom. The wife could hardly control herself as she rolled on the floor laughing, tears in her eyes! After years of torture she reckoned she had got him back pretty good! About twenty minutes later, her husband came downstairs in his bloodstained underpants with a look of horror on his face. She bit her lip as she asked him what was the matter. He said, "Honey, you were right. All these years you have warned me and I didn't listen to you." "What do you mean?" asked his wife. "Well,you always told me that one day I would end up farting my guts out, and today it finally happened. But by the grace of God, some Vaseline, and these two fingers, I think I got most of them back in."

(Okay, with THAT joke, does anyone think T1G and what it would be like if he has been married a long time?)

Finally, do you know what this animal is?

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Gratuitous Friday Baby Pic

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See, even the Heiress has a fascination with graveyards. Okay, maybe not so much. The Crack House where she receives her daycare is right next door to this cemetery. We are going to attempt to go Christmas shopping tonight- keep in mind I haven't toted a youngun around in many many years. Thank goodness I am so much more patient now than I was back in the day.

HEY! You in the back! I can HEAR you when you're laughing!

Shotgun Season- Part III

Okay, Sarge got to TAG a button buck.

We're making cheddar-onion bratwurst on Saturday. Mmmmmmm!
Oh! And that nice 8 point my cousin got that Sarge...had a bad shot at? He was generous to fill my bottom drawer in the freezer. Well, that plus his wife wouldn't dream of actually cooking venison.