Friday, June 19, 2009

I Wish I had a Monster Truck

What is it about a Prius that just makes me want to run it over??? Maybe it was the 10-miles-below-the-speed-limit thing, but I swear I really wanted to do damage.

And I should be grateful, actually.

Every person who drives a small car is probably saving enough fuel for me to drive my big SUV guilt-free. I have every intention of leaving this mortal coil knowing I used WAY more than my fair share of fossil fuels. I drive on average 1,000 miles a week and there is no way I am going to risk my neck in a tin can just for gas mileage.

But really, how fun would that be to just drive right over one of those little PC clown cars?

Wednesday, June 17, 2009

The House on the Corner

The saying goes that while there may not be much to see in a small town, what you hear makes up for it.

My neighbors proved that wrong this morning.

Now, I live in an old part of town, the "old money" higher property tax, etc. despite the fact that Jackass Acres strongly resembles Sanford & Son most days. The houses are pretty well maintained....except for mine.

I am driving down X street and see a huge sign on the corner " Kxx O'Bxxxx is 47!" And as you turn the corner there is a throne...a toilet throne, to be exact, with candy canes lining the walk, the birthday girl's name AND the age of her toilet proudly displayed on a pedestal.

I was so proud tha I damn near sobbed.

Something Different

Time for a change. Details soon!

Friday, February 06, 2009


That would be Us Sorry Bastids in ILlinois.

Does anyone look at our now thankfully former governor and think of the crazy boy friend that wouldn't go away?

Hot Rod: But you love me!
USBIL: Um, no, not really.
Hot Rod: I know you love me! You elected me twice so you HAVE to love me.
USBIL: DOn't make me use this pepper spray.

Saturday, January 10, 2009

Since I haven't been blogging much in the last ten months, I haven't been able to bore anyone with my granddaughters. They are, I'm sure everyone can agree, extraordinarily beautiful little girls.



If I could just get out of this car seat....

Introspective four year old

And, just because I am bored to tears and can't get out of the house, this is the scene from my front porch/smoking lounge. The snow is all from last night and this morning. Seriously, you would NOT want to mention global warning in my vicinity. And yes, it's still snowing.


Ah well, back to my movie.

As Rome Burns...

Yesterday I was driving around doing errands and getting groceries- I take our winter storm advisories seriously and like to provision up- when WLS played a news conference from our Beloved Governor (spit) following his impeachment by the Illinois House.

He read a poem by Tennysson.

Strangely, I had the visual image of Nero playing the fiddle.

Oh dear Lord, please let this national humiliation end soon. I have started telling people I'm really from WISCONSIN, for pete's sake!

Thursday, January 08, 2009

My Late Christmas Present

I got a call from my daughter-in-law last night.

It seems their bank card has been used at a McDonald's.

In Kuwait.

After 15 months, counting down the months, then the days, now the hours.


Wednesday, December 10, 2008

A Proud Day In Illinois History

Hey! It only took me 5 tries to remember how to log in here!

I am doing my happy dance, folks. Gov. Blagojevich, as you may have heard, was arrested yesterday. Not one minute too soon as far as I am concerned. That son of a bitch needs to rot in jail for the rest of his life. He has caused so much harm to this state, it boggles the mind. Seriously, I didn't think anyone could be worse than George Ryan, but what do I know?

I have said before,, there is Chicago, and then the rest of the state. Please don't judge the rest of us in God's country by what goes on in Chicago. Illinois politics are as dirty as you can get.

And just think, the Machine is on the road. Straight to the White House. Honest to God, kids, this is going to be a very enlightening next four years.

Friday, September 12, 2008

On Message

My daughter-in-law sent me this video and I've GOT to share it!