The Nautical Chronicles Part II

Success at last! The Raging Boat, No Regrets, was finally launched Monday afternoon. Old Sarge, Son #2 and I went out for our maiden voyage.


See? There’s water in the background!

We cruised down as far as Stronghold Castle, then turned around to head back upriver. I had made the comment that even though our boat was older and kind of small, it really made you feel like you’d stepped up a notch in the world to be out on the river.

The boat promptly quit.

Me: What’s wrong!!?? ( I am a very poor swimmer)
Old Sarge: I don’t know, it doesn’t want to seem to keep running.
Son #2: Uh, Dad?
OS: WHAT!?
Son #2: We’re out of gas.
OS: But it was full the time before last that we tried to go.

Let me point out it’s been in the shop since then. Six gallon tank. 70 hp motor.

Soooo….I Nexteled my sister and brother-in-law who fortunately were out on their pontoon, and they towed us to the marina. How embarrassing! Who doesn’t check the gas tank, for crying out loud?

All went well after that, except for taking on a little water, and we had a blast. When we went to take the boat out though, there were four young gentlemen at the adjacent ramp that apparently had been having a REALLY good time, i.e. drunk as skunks. One of these body-illustrated, nipple-pierced emaciated pixies decided to pee off the end of the dock in front of God and everyone. (Which was a lot of people- public dock) At that very moment, Old Sarge was giving me a hand out of the boat, and when I started to stand up…I farted. Not very loud, but pretty squeaky, and Old Sarge and I start laughing. Me hysterically so, because face it, nothing will make you scrunch your face up into an impossible rictus of hilarity and guffaw until the tears flow like your own windage. So OS is belly laughing, I’m doubled over shrieking laughing and Tattoo Boy thinks we’re laughing at his winkie. His buddies notice us, and they start laughing too, Tattoo Boy is now pissing all over himself and the dock, so they threw him off the end.

I suppose I should feel bad about that.

Anyway. We had fireworks out at the farm later that night. Our family get togethers being what they are, it wasn’t TOO much of a surprise to hear sirens pulling up, but it wasn’t the local authorities- my brother-in-law got a new toy for Father’s Day:



Yes indeed, an M151 Jeep and trailer, 100% authentic. I lust.

For the 4th, we had a parade in Rochelle, and Son #2 marched with us. Apparently the Heiress is very taken with men in uniform, because she was all over Uncle.



All in All, a great holiday.

Oh and for the locals- we’re going out on the boat again this weekend. There will be grandstand seating along River Road for those in need of comic relief.