Of Holes And Holidays

There are some people who should not be allowed unsupervised vacation time. Old Sarge is one of them.

Before I start my rant, let me just refresh your memories on Jackass Acres. When we bought our house from my aunt five years ago, it was pretty crappy. Paneling everywhere, and I mean the kitchen, the bathroom, EVERYWHERE! Behind the paneling is old lathe and plaster walls. Old Sarge is not a drywall expert, so we started modestly by tearing out the pantry, just about the time the boys left for Basic. This was October 2002. Well, there IS drywall up, but Old Sarge has never finished trimming around the basement door or the two doorways on either end of the pantry. In four years, he has “not gotten around to it.”

Now, as you walk in the front door, there is the front room (useless space) and the living room to the right, divided by the landing to the upstairs staircase. At one time, the stairs were straight, but now there is an L shaped landing with the last three stairs coming into the front room. The inside fake wall of the landing had a huge hole in the paneling and I thought it might make things a little lighter and more open to just take the wall out and open the entire staircase. (Just so you know, the hole was caused by a runaway box spring, NOT yours truly getting pished and stumbling down the stairs as SOMEONE suggested.)

Old Sarge has been on vacation this week, and wanted to surprise me by taking down the wall. Oh I was surprised alright. Since he did it AFTER I had the house immaculately dusted and vacuumed, all my Christmas knickknacks out, (more dusting) and the house decorated for the holidays. I came home to find everything covered in sawdust, and a gaping hole in the living room wall. No trim, no railing, nothing, nada, zip. And just in time for holiday entertaining. Oh, and the Christmas that was upright when I left for work? In three different sections on the living room floor because 7 of the nine light strands don’t work.

Shit.

Well, I guess I could buy more garland to cover the raw wood edges of the hole. As for the tree, if it is not up by the time I get home tonight, it may be on the curb and a new one replacing it. Merry Flippin’ Christmas!!!!