Fractured Fairy Tale, Part 1

Last Saturday, I decided it was high time that I met with
Tammi in person, rather than email or apparition. A mini blogmeet was going to be held at Fritz’s, so I took the plunge and headed north.
As I walked into the bar, T1G was sitting in his usual spot, morosely nursing an Amber and huge glass of ice water.
“Hey, T1G, how’s it going? No Tammi yet?”
T1G glanced up in my direction, then returned to his mug.
“Bad, and nope.”
What the hell? I thought. Then I noticed that the bar décor had changed since my last visit. Every few feet, there were copper spikes sticking out of the bar. Looking around, I saw spikes placed all over- at the tables, over the bathroom doors, at the golf machine. It was surreal.
“Um, what’s with all the spikes? They kind of look like..”
“Lightning rods.”
“What? Why?”
As if it were possible, T1G hung even farther over his beer mug. “See,” he said, “this whole Son of G*d has gotten out of control.” He then proceeded to tell me the whole sorry tale of the night before. Seems that much revelry was taking place, and one of his minions had even gone so far as to buy him a Jeebus action figure on wheels. Apparently, the REAL Almighty was mightily upset, and proceeded to pelt the bar with lightning bolts. T1G had the bad luck of being struck by one, and the shock of it resulted in not only praying to The Big Guy, but the porcelain god as well. Before Fritz would let him come back, he had to supply the place with enough lightning rods so that Fritz didn’t have to pay the bartenders for hazardous duty.
“Oh well, T1G, things could be worse.”

I couldn’t have been more wrong. The front door opened.

“Hey, who’s the guy in that G*D awful bowling shirt?”

To be continued….