A Hummer is Not a Hummer?
CAUTION: Yes, this post will include references to oral sex. Sorry. Deal. There will also be a survey.
Old Sarge and I met with Al’s kids for drinks last night before they took off for home. Son #2 joined us. OS, Diane and I were deep in a reminiscing mode; we all had the same friends and were regaling the younger generation with tales of dating, drinking and debauchery.
At one point during one of our stories, Diane asked OS about a particular thing, and he said he couldn’t remember, he was dating “T” at the time. Now, being privy to the information that “T” had administered Old Sarge’s first blow job, I shared with the group. (As an aside of no importance, “T”’s husband works for me quite often. Every time he comes in to get his assignment, I think, “Damn, his wife gave my husband his first hummer. Wonder if he knows?”)
Back to the story, Diane and I are hooting it up about OS getting a hummer; that was the word I used. Son #2 is looking absolutely mortified, and states that that is the most disgusting thing he’s ever heard.
Now, I do not normally discuss oral sex in polite company, but we are not polite, we are old friends and anything goes. I also think there are things that are normal and things that are deviant, and a BJ doesn’t fall into the latter category in my opinion. So I was a little puzzled about Son #2’s reaction.
RM: What’s wrong with a hummer?
Son #2: It’s just gross, that’s what!
OS: What the hell is so gross about it?
Son #2: I just think it’s gross to get sucked off while you’re taking a shit.
RM:
OS:
Diane:
(synchronized *blink* from the older generation)
OS: That is NOT what a hummer is.
(RM and Diane shaking heads, spewing cocktails)
Son #2: Well, maybe it wasn’t a hundred years ago, but that’s what it means now.
Okay, people, am I getting so friggin’ old that I don’t know what a hummer is anymore? Has anyone else heard this, or is my son a moron? Please comment.
Gratuitous BJ joke:
What’s the difference between a wife and a job?
After 5 years, the job still sucks.
Another BJ joke:
Why do brides look so happy on their wedding day?
They realize they just gave their last blow job.
posted by ma content @ 2:07 PM
5 comments
5 Comments:
Uh no. That is not *my* definition of a "hummer" either. Good God.
And jsut for the record, I'm not that old... I'm 35. I guess I should begin to worry about kids today....
Um... I'm 29 and a "hummer" still means what you think it means... I NEVER heard your sons definition... his definition is horribly gross.
Do not think I would ever give a guy a BJ while he is taking a dump... that is just simply... GROSS! That would never turn me on and how in the heck could that turn a guy on while he is taking a dump?? Blows (no pun intended) my mind! :) :) :)
he's a moron. HUmmer is just like it says. I prefer "The Battle Hymn of the Republic" Lots of tonal variation.
Umm being one of your youngest and the most hip to what's going on in pop culture, I'm quite sure #2 is retarded. Maybe he thought it dealt with shit because you call him #2..
The act Joel referenced is actually called a "Stinky Lollipop."
That is indeed NOT a hummer, however, if a man can find a woman who will do that, ('while he is drinking a margarita' is optional), then said man should indeed propose to her right then and there, because he will never in 239488957 years find another woman like her. I believe that's written down somewhere....
How many times did you drop #2 on his head?
Post a Comment
<< Home