Overheard at Easter

One of my sisters showed up for Easter dinner in an absolutely filthy pair of jeans and a sweatshirt. Nothing wrong with that, I guess. She was in a big hurry to get back home and "work on the race car".
Sister: Okay, we gotta go, lots to do on (nephew's) car!
(she leaves)
Her younger daughter: *snort* Why does she make it sound like she actually DOES anything?
RM: Well, maybe she's supervising.
Her older daughter: Yeah, like guarding the beer fridge, or maybe doing 12 oz. curls.

Sister, you're not fooling anybody.

Brother: I'm thinking of running for road commissioner.
Sister-in-law: So he can sit around in the winter and get paid for it.
RM: I think that's a great idea!
Brother: You do???
RM: I can't think of anyone better to misuse public authority.