Monday, April 09, 2007

Eggs, Pants and Manly Bits

Ah, the Great Easter Egg Hunt of 2007! Despite wind chill temperatures in the single digits, we had an excellent turnout.

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The Heiress stood still long enough to have her picture taken with Mrs. Bunny:

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It must be shared that Mrs. Bunny, a member of the high school Key Club, had no intentions of wearing a bunny suit that quite possibly contained the sweat of many previous occupants. After half an hour of below freezing temperatures, she changed her mind.

Aside from Mr. & Mrs. Easter Bunny, we also had “Scoopie” from Culvers on hand:

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Scoopie looked more like a walking penis to me, but hey, it’s for the CHILDREN!

We had started our setup at 7:30 Saturday morning. By 8:30, I could no longer feel my toes or fingers, and had called Old Sarge to bring a propane heater from the garage with him when he came. He had to do water rounds for the city first. When he finally came walking up with heater in hand, my friend Marlene and I were both riveted to his crotchoidal region.

RM: Are you seeing what I’m seeing?
Mar: His, his, his PANTS are disintegrating!

Sure enough, the entire front of his britches had a huge white spot, and the denim was just…disappearing. Old Sarge kept trying to look down and see what we were pointing and laughing at, but his belly was in the way and he couldn’t see anything. Finally he set the heater down and sat on a picnic table to survey the damage. By this time Mar and I are almost peeing our pants, telling him to get to Wal-Mart for some new jeans before his manly bits disappeared too. Chlorine will do that.

At any rate, we were ready for the hordes by 10:00, and by 10:02 there was nary an Easter Egg to be found. Out of three thousand that we put out.

Can’t wait til next year.

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