Monday, January 08, 2007

Weekend Cleanup

I have complained long and loudly about the state of Jackass Acres. Son #2 left one God awful mess in the bedroom he and his bride occupied. Eldest Son, unfortunately, seems destined to have a revolving door in his room- here, not here, here, etc. I set about to reclaim the upstairs this weekend.
Son #2 left enough stuff for me to open an Army surplus store. Which would nicely compliment the Marine and Air Force "store" down the hall. I packed two sea bags full of uniforms, under armor, rain gear, cold weather gear, a camelback, THREE canteens- you get the idea. And picked up empty pop cans, glasses, Trojan wrappers. I am not pleased. The word has gone out to pick up the stuff or to the curb it goes. I started pulling up some of the fugliest linoleum known to mankind in the clear spaces. I swear, there is NO time in man's history that this could have been attractive flooring. Fortunately, it is coming up very easily. Unfortunately, it appears to have been tar papered on- the floor boards are black and sticky. I will resolve this dilemma at a later date as I transform this into the Tinkerbell room.
Inevitably, as I am moving some of Son #2's junk into Son #1's old room to accomodate this transformation, my Nextel rings.
Son #1: Hey Ma, whatcha doin'?
RM: Oh, cleaning upstairs, getting ready to redecorate the little bedroom.
Son #1: Oh! Well, uh, I was thinking I'd drop my old bed by.
RM: (crickets chirping)
Son #1: That okay?
RM: Break up again?
Son #1: Well, yeah, long story.
RM: Hey no problem!!

So...junk goes back OUT, I clean out several dresser drawers to put away the clothes that are still there (on the floor) from the last time, haul the twin bed mattress and boxsprings into my bathroom (thank goodness it is a huge room) to make way for his bed, dust, vaccuum, and look over at the computer desk with despair.
I do not use this computer. Old Sarge and Son #2 mainly use it, and apparently they have never seen a web page that they did not want to print out. Paper EVERYWHERE. I figured, fuck this, whatever is on the floor is fair game and filled a garbage bag full, plus, count 'em, 5 empty Coke cans, three McDonald's drink cups, Snickers wrappers and other assorted CRAP, plus a coffee cup with at least an inch worth of science experiment growing in it.

This is not the worst of it.

Inspired by my frenzied activity upstairs, Old Sarge decides to finally answer the question that has plagued us since we moved in- what IS behind all this hideous paneling. We have paneling in the living room, in the kitchen, even in the bathroom. It sucks, and I hate it.
Well, now we know. There is old lathe and plaster behind there. Kind of. In some places there is just lathe; the plaster is gone. I think the only thing holding up the remaining plaster is the 5 layers of old wallpaper. There is not one thing that can make this better- it all has to come down, right down to the studs, and be replaced with drywall. Crap.

I think I will post pictures along the way so that you can see the horror we will be living with. I have seen houses ready to be demolished that look better than ours right now.

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