Again With The Sideways

Dear Kopy Kat Copier Supply,

First, let me say that our first nine years together were lovely. Really. You always came through for me when I needed you.

However.

You replaced my copier lasy year while I was in Georgia with a copier/fax. I hate it. It hasn't worked right since I've had it. Simply, it misfeeds like a muthafucka.

You may assume from my snotty tone that, if I request a service call AGAIN to fix the damn thing, it does not mean that I am eager to wrap the phone cord around myself and my cubicle, try to open every orifice on the machine and get my stylish white eyelet blouse covered in dirt, dust and toner. That's what I called YOU for.

Assholes.