Wit's End

I Wish I had a Monster Truck

2009-06-19T07:39:00.003-05:00

What is it about a Prius that just makes me want to run it over??? Maybe it was the 10-miles-below-the-speed-limit thing, but I swear I really wanted to do damage.

And I should be grateful, actually.

Every person who drives a small car is probably saving enough fuel for me to drive my big SUV guilt-free. I have every intention of leaving this mortal coil knowing I used WAY more than my fair share of fossil fuels. I drive on average 1,000 miles a week and there is no way I am going to risk my neck in a tin can just for gas mileage.

But really, how fun would that be to just drive right over one of those little PC clown cars?

The House on the Corner

2009-06-17T07:40:00.003-05:00

The saying goes that while there may not be much to see in a small town, what you hear makes up for it.

My neighbors proved that wrong this morning.

Now, I live in an old part of town, the "old money" higher property tax, etc. despite the fact that Jackass Acres strongly resembles Sanford & Son most days. The houses are pretty well maintained....except for mine.

I am driving down X street and see a huge sign on the corner " Kxx O'Bxxxx is 47!" And as you turn the corner there is a throne...a toilet throne, to be exact, with candy canes lining the walk, the birthday girl's name AND the age of her toilet proudly displayed on a pedestal.

I was so proud tha I damn near sobbed.

Something Different

2009-06-17T07:10:00.000-05:00

Time for a change. Details soon!

USBIL

2009-02-06T06:51:00.002-06:00

That would be Us Sorry Bastids in ILlinois.

Does anyone look at our now thankfully former governor and think of the crazy boy friend that wouldn't go away?

Hot Rod: But you love me!
USBIL: Um, no, not really.
Hot Rod: I know you love me! You elected me twice so you HAVE to love me.
USBIL: DOn't make me use this pepper spray.

2009-01-10T11:50:00.002-06:00

Since I haven't been blogging much in the last ten months, I haven't been able to bore anyone with my granddaughters. They are, I'm sure everyone can agree, extraordinarily beautiful little girls.

CHRISTMAS 2008

CHRISTMAS 2008

If I could just get out of this car seat....

Introspective four year old

And, just because I am bored to tears and can't get out of the house, this is the scene from my front porch/smoking lounge. The snow is all from last night and this morning. Seriously, you would NOT want to mention global warning in my vicinity. And yes, it's still snowing.

Ah well, back to my movie.

As Rome Burns...

2009-01-10T07:21:00.002-06:00

Yesterday I was driving around doing errands and getting groceries- I take our winter storm advisories seriously and like to provision up- when WLS played a news conference from our Beloved Governor (spit) following his impeachment by the Illinois House.

He read a poem by Tennysson.

Strangely, I had the visual image of Nero playing the fiddle.

Oh dear Lord, please let this national humiliation end soon. I have started telling people I'm really from WISCONSIN, for pete's sake!

My Late Christmas Present

2009-01-08T05:36:00.002-06:00

I got a call from my daughter-in-law last night.

It seems their bank card has been used at a McDonald's.

In Kuwait.

After 15 months, counting down the months, then the days, now the hours.

MY SON IS ON HIS WAY HOME!!!!

A Proud Day In Illinois History

2008-12-10T05:41:00.002-06:00

Hey! It only took me 5 tries to remember how to log in here!

I am doing my happy dance, folks. Gov. Blagojevich, as you may have heard, was arrested yesterday. Not one minute too soon as far as I am concerned. That son of a bitch needs to rot in jail for the rest of his life. He has caused so much harm to this state, it boggles the mind. Seriously, I didn't think anyone could be worse than George Ryan, but what do I know?

I have said before,, there is Chicago, and then the rest of the state. Please don't judge the rest of us in God's country by what goes on in Chicago. Illinois politics are as dirty as you can get.

And just think, the Machine is on the road. Straight to the White House. Honest to God, kids, this is going to be a very enlightening next four years.

On Message

2008-09-12T05:44:00.002-05:00

My daughter-in-law sent me this video and I've GOT to share it!

Makes No Sense

2008-09-06T09:16:00.003-05:00

For those of you not blessed enough to live in Illinois, let me give this preface before I rant:

There is Illinois, and then there is Chicago. They are two separate entities that have no bearing on each other EXCEPT- Chicago pretty much controls the rest of the state. And our governor is very much the Chicago politician. Honestly, the rest of us wish we could make Chicago secede from the rest of the state.

Gov. Rod Blagofuckyourselfverymuchovich has announced the closing of 11 state parks and 25 historical sites.

Does this look familiar to anyone?

He is closing TWO state parks in my town- Lowden Memorial and Castle Rock. What makes no sense to me at all is - Lowden's operating budget for a year is $45,000. It MAKES over $90,000 a year, so it is self-sustaining and profitable. I guess in the Governor's mind, that waves a red flag to close it.

There is a meeting Wednesday with a few legislators, to see what can be done. I'm going. This is going to impact our community terribly. I have floated the idea to a few people, that maybe the state will lease the parks to the city or our park district. It seems feasible, so I'm sure it will never happen.

Raging Mom, political activist. Heaven help us all.

I Feel a Polka Coming on...

2008-08-31T12:29:00.004-05:00

This post is mainly for my son and daughter-in-law, but feel free to read!

This is the Oktoberfest which has been lagering for so long. It's getting bottled right now. Old Sarge says the alcohol content is around 12%.

Dear God.

We'll definitely save some for when you come home.

Old Sarge bottled the Bavarian Wheat on Friday. It had eaten the airlock. This brew is scaring me; it's 8 or 9% alcohol. And tomorrow we are brewing Pumpkin Ale for the holidays.

Political Views and Brewing News

2008-08-13T19:07:00.002-05:00

I have received some gentle reminders that my blogging has been, to say the least, non-existant.
The new job has been kicking my ass, but, here goes for those of you that still check in on me.

First, the presidential race.

I am sick of it. If you are too, let me reduce this issue down to the basics for you in my own special way.

Elect Obama, and you have two lawyers in the White House.

Elect McCain, and you have a war hero and a woman who owns a beer distributorship.

Puts it all right into perspective, doesn't it?

In brewing news:

The Autumn Ale was wonderful..and gone. The last four bottles were sent to Texas for Young SGT to enjoy on his R & R.

In the pipeline is the Oktoberfest, which is still lagering; a Continental Pilsner, which has been bottled and may be ready this weekend; and a Bavarian Wheat, which is in the Primary Fermenter at the moment. Also waiting for production is an Irish Stout and a Fat Tire taste-alike.

I've also canned 52 quarts of green beans, 24 pints of sweet corn, 34 half pints of jams and jellies, and 10 quarts of spaghetti sauce- the tomatoes are just now starting to go nuts.

It amazes me sometimes that neither old Sarge or I have managed to poison ourselves!

There, happy now??

Brewing News

2008-06-09T07:14:00.002-05:00

The first batch of beer will be ready for my niece's graduation party this weekend, and appropriately has been named "Midshipman's Ale". Even has a nice little anchor on the label.

Now, there are 5 gallons of Oktoberfest lagering in the fridge right now which will be ready for my 50th birthday in, um, October. The only name suggested so far was by the Young SGT, who thought "Being In Iraq Blows Donkey Nuts" would be a great name.

This is the beer that guarantees dancing on a table to polka music.

Please, folks, as much as I love and adore my son, we gotta have a different name.

More Graveyard Humor

2008-06-09T07:10:00.002-05:00

Overheard at the Dreaded Family Gathering The Night Before The Funeral:

Mom: Jane, I think you should cancel your Alaska trip.
Aunt: Why in the world for???
Mom: Well, when you went to Disneyland, Judy died.
Aunt: Yes....
Mom: And I just went to Canada and Kendall died.
Aunt: Yes....
Mom: There's only three of left, I don't think we ought to take any more trips!

***silence***

Aunt: Don't worry, I'm sure it's Karl's turn next.

And Then There Were Three

2008-06-08T16:41:00.002-05:00

This year has brought much loss to our family. Once again, my mom has lost a sibling, this time a brother. Of the eight children born to my grandparents, only three are left.

Which isn't to say we aren't capable of graveyard humor.

My uncle had almost no lung capacity left and was having more frequent hospital stays. Dying of lung disease is definitely not for sissies. But last weekend, he was almost like his old self, and on Tuesday, he and his wife went out for a few cocktails at Messie's. Uncle got tired and went to the truck while his wife got their take-out, and just....was gone. We should all be so lucky.

But, we have decided what really killed him. He was probably listening to the radio and heard Obama got the nomination, and said, "To hell with this, it's time to go!"

A Day Late, But...

2008-06-07T07:15:00.003-05:00

Yesterday, as I was driving around to different work sites, I heard exactly ONE mention of D-Day- from Rush, of course.

What a sad commentary on us as Americans that a day of such significance in our history passed with almost no notice.

What happens in a war, and the emotions it leaves with those that survive, is something I will never know. I can't, I haven't been there. But to pay homage to those that do, I would like to share a speech that a friend of mine, a Navy corpsman who served in Viet Nam and was awarded the Silver Star, gave for our latest Armed Forces Day Dinner.

Have you ever been to Arlington? Have you ever been to the Marine Corps War Memorial?

It represents the most famous battle photograph ever taken: the Rasising of the American Flag on Mt. Surabachi, Iwo Jima.

During that 36 day battle to take that island, a Marine fell to Japajnese fire every two minutes...every two minutes for 36 days, a Marine was killed or wounded in action. It is the only battle in the history of the Marine Corps where Marines suffered more casualties than the enemy. In 36 days, 6,981 Marines were killed in action; 19,217 were wounded.

The Memorial in Washington, created in a bronze and granite sculpture, depicts five Marines and a Navy Hospital Corpsman raising our American Flag. Three Marines didn't survive the battle, one Marine died shortly after, and the Corpsman and one Marine survived. Engraved in the polished black granite, in gold, is the inscription: "Uncommon Valor Was A Common Virtue."

If you visit the Memorial, or take the time to look at the picture again, take a close look at Corpsman John Bradley. As he is stretching out to raise the Flag, you'll recognize hime; he is the only one without a canteen in his canteen pouch.

Felix De Weldon, the sculptor of the Marine Memorial, asked John Bradley what had happened to his canteen. In the heat of battle, he told de Weldon, he simply couldn't remember.

Let me talk for a moment this evening, about an intangible, that sometimes goes beyond bravery and beyond sacrifice...I am talking about selflessness!

You see, Doc Bradley was selfless that day, remembers his platoon, told de Weldon. Bradley had given his canteen of water to a wounded Marine, as he struggled to climb Surabachi that day. He would go without water for the next 28 hours on Iwo Jima.

John Bradley was selfless that day. Men in combat never speak of glory or medals, instead we speak of, "Who can be trusted, who can be counted on, and who will come for me, when I am wouded in the field of battle, and if I die, who will carry my memory?"

The following day, on seeing a wounded Marine lying in the field of battle, Bradley ran through a mortar barrage and heavy machine gun fire to reach the wounded Marine. Shielding the wounded Marine with his body, he administered plasma and pulled the casulaty 30 yards to safety. Bradley was shot in both legs.

It was not for sense of self that he went out after that Marine; it was for others! John Bradley was awarded the Navy Cross for his selflessness that day.

Today we celebrate Armed Forces Day! Today we celebrate each and every one of you, for your service to this, our country.

Air Force, Army, Marines, Navy and Coast Guard.

My friends, what sets you aoart as an American is your selflessness! Your willingness to take the time to dedicate yourselves to Military Service for our country and the defense of it!

You are all Selfless, you are the fabric of our patriotism, you are our Veterans! You are America!

So if you ever visit the Marine Corps Memorial or look at a picture of it, you will see him. He is very simply, the one without the canteen...

Your invitation tonight has stirred those restless memories, which always remain so close to the surface of my mind. I can't even pretend to understand these forces that hold us veterans together across these years.

Yet I understand these forces are as fierce as a blood bond, and as enduring as kinship.

You see, I know why men who have been to War yearn to reunite. Not to tell stories, not to laugh or weep on one another's knee. Comrades gather, because they long to be with men who once acted their

best...

Men who suffered and sacrificed together, who were stripped raw, right down to their humanity.

We did not pick each other, did we...we were delivered by Fate and our services. But I know them in a way I know no other men!
I have never given anyone such trust. They were willing to guard something more precious than my life. They would have carried my reputation, and the memory of me! It was the bargain we all made, the reason we were so willing to die for each other! Our comradeship is the province of legend and myth...! You see, I knew the bargain that day!

As long as I have memory, I will think of them all, every day, and I am sure, that when I leave this world, my last thoughts wil be of my family and my comrades. They were such good men.

William Shakespeare said it this way in Henry the 5th, Act 4, Scene 3:

"We few, we happy few, we Band of Brothers...
For he today that sheds his blood with me...
Shall always be my Brother...!"

Thank you so much for having me this evening! God bless and portect all our Airman, Soldiers, Sailors, Marines and Coast Guardsmen, on the line today, and those who have gone before!

Der Biermeister

2008-05-27T19:11:00.003-05:00

Old Sarge has acquired a new hobby. Unfortunately, it does not involve finishing drywall projects!

See, Young SGT has been brewing his own beer for awhile, (although I imagine operations are suspended while he is on his extended desert vacation getaway) and Old Sarge wanted to have a hobby in common with him. The $30 brew kit from Wal-Mart did not satisfy his curiousity, oh no. He ordered a set-up so that he can brew 5 gallons of beer at time.

My eyebrows nearly disappeared into my hairline at that.

Now, he has just bottled his first batch. There was a little left over, and we tasted it. It was flat, since the carbonation takes place in the bottling process, but...damn, it tasted like beer! Rather tasty beer at that!!

Old Sarge now has Batch #2, a lovely high alcohol Oktoberfest guaranteed to make you dance on a table to a polka band, in the fermenter.

Fast forward to today, I am only working a half day since Son #2 was flying into O'Hare and I had planned to pick him up. This is the first time we have seen him since he has been back from Iraq, mind you. I stopped at the Home Brew Shop in St. Charles, since I am killing time, and bought Old Sarge an extra carboy and a brewing book.

When we got home from the airport, Old Sarge met us on the sidewalk, gave Son #2 who has been in Iraq, did I mention, a handshake and heads for the back of the Explorer to get his surprize.

Thankfully, Son #2 and I had an hour and half in the car for me to warn him about the new obsession.

And for those interested, Batch #2 will be ready in time for my 50th birthday, I have the polka band booked already.

I Am So Proud!

2008-05-25T14:36:00.002-05:00

The Young SGT has been chosen NCO of the Month!

Way to go, honey!!!

He will get to come home for R & R in August, but has decided to stay in Texas to...well, anyway, I would have told him that folks in Illinois have sex too, but, that is no longer first hand information.
Damn it.

My new mantra- nine more months, nine more months. February will be a great month.

The Garden of Good Intentions

2008-05-25T14:25:00.002-05:00

I do this every year.

When we moved into this house, the corner of our lot where the huge pine tree grows would grow nothing else but crab grass. So, I have tried every year to get a little flower bed going.
And every year, I let it go to weeds.

I am posting my good intentions this time, since I have just finished putting in more creeping phlox, and wild assortments of sweet peas, snapdragons, petunias of every color, vinca, impatiens, I can't even remember everything. I have rearranged my stepping stones and rocks (all services) and leveled off my WWII soldier.

Wish me luck.

In my other beds, I have gladiolas and sparaxis coming up, but sorry AWTM, I think the daffodils and iris have shriveled their pods in this chilly climate. But I'm still hoping!

Prayer Request Please

2008-05-17T14:27:00.001-05:00

I know this site has been dark for awhile, and I promise that will improve shortly. But I was asked by the Young SGT to please include the family of SPC Alex Gonzalez in my prayers, and am passing along the request.

And it wouldn't hurt to include the Young SGT either. His heart is heavy, and he is tired.

New Beginnings

2008-04-28T07:00:00.002-05:00

Holy Crap, I just looked out the window and it is snowing. So yes, Hell froze over and I am going back to work tomorrow.

The paving company that has been courting me for almost two months made me an offer that I can't refuse. Still no benefits at the moment, but the pay is more than I have ever made. Which, by the looks of gas prices, I will need.

My first assignment tomorrow is a bid letting. This is huge.

So, wish me luck!

I Feel The Earth.. Move..Under My Feet

2008-04-18T07:56:00.002-05:00

Okay, it wasn't actually movimg under my feet, since I was laying on my stomach in bed. But early this morning, the windows were rattling, the bed was shaking, I could hear the cologne bottles on my dresser clinking.

I was blaming the fish special at La Vigna at the time. Bad night.

But when I got up at 6, the news was telling of the earthquake in southern Illinois. Thank God, I was hoping that the things in this house that go bump in the night hadn't taken things to a new level.( another story for later)

And it turns out that two of my sisters that had the same thing were also sick last night. We had gone out to eat for Mom's birthday last night to this local restaurant that serves Northern Italian cuisine. Let me say, the place is very overpriced and pretentious for Smallville.

On the job front...I am confused. The man I have been dealing with was to call me yesterday and we were to set up a time to meet again today. Just in case I had misunderstood who was to call who, I left him a voice mail.

Nothing. I am getting to think that despite this man's good intentions towards me, that the owners are flaky.
Add to that a voice mail from Eldest Son from 1:30 AM!! to call ASAP. Which I did at 6:30 a.m. He hung up on me without saying a word.

There is a point here. I am staying upstairs this morning, where I can't hear a phone or the front door, until I am damn good and ready to come down. Freaky Friday, indeed!

Things I Could Do Without

2008-04-17T07:07:00.002-05:00

And they all have to do with, shall we say, starch???

I do not care if "Bob" ever gets a hard-on again in his life. Anything to wipe that stupid grin off his face.

Viva Viagra? The Las Vegas Tourism Commission should sue them to oblivion for making me NEVER want to go to Vegas again just because of that idiotic commercial. I can only hope Elvis is rolling over in his grave.

And the whole two bath tubs in the meadow?? I do not get that. Someone please explain to me how that is romantic. And how sitting in separate bath tubs is going to get the action going.

Don't even get me started on the Redi-Whip man.

Someone has been watching WAY too much TV!

There Will Come Soft Rains

2008-04-16T07:44:00.002-05:00

But hopefully not until tomorrow. Today is supposed to 70 and windy, so I will be a-planting. I have four red raspberry bushes, 1 hydrangea, 1 butterfly bush, gladioloas, sparaxis, and iris and daffodils to put out.

Tomorrow it can rain. I have to finish my Youth Activities program for the State, and now that I have FINALLY gotten the National program, I will have to re-write mine completely. And have it submitted by the 24th.

I have Patriotic Art judging for the State this Saturday, along with my VF*n*W's Draw Down that night. Lord, if you see fit to let me win the $1000, it would be most appreciated.

A month ago, a man from a company that did business with the quarry had called me and asked if I was interested in working for him. I was, but then he never called back. Until Monday. We met yesterday, and he offered me a job...in friggin' DeKalb, of course. Ah well, it's not like I don't know the area.

This would be a bit of a challenge. I have a basic understanding of bookwork, AR and AP, payroll I know nothing about, so the office part will be a learning process. The best part though?? This man, this colleague, knows who I have worked for and understands that I can do more than that. His question to me:"Would you mind spending at least half your time out of the office? Reading blue prints and doing estimates? I know you are capable of doing this."

For someone who sat a desk 10-12 hours a day for 11 years, you can not imagine how tempting that is.

The money is good, the benefits are non-existent at this time. There will be bonuses. Well, at least we have TriCare.

I have much to think about before Friday. I had almost hoped that I could stay home all summer. But...someone thinks enough of my skills to pursue me.

I'll do better thinking if I get dressed and go get my hands dirty.

A Crossroads

2008-03-31T07:27:00.002-05:00

It dawned on me this morning that it is probably time to get my ass in gear and look for a job. It's not that there's a lack of things for me to be doing around the house, that could take MONTHS to get in order. But, I'm starting to worry and just feel...bad. It is going to be very hard if not impossible to stay in dispatch. There's just not much turnover in that particular construction field.

The inevitable question is, now what?

I am nearly 50 years old, and a huge life change is pretty daunting. I honestly don't know what else I can do. Bartend? Wait tables? I would hope I'd move UP, not back down.

So I'm a little scared at the moment.

Guess I'll go get another cup of coffee and tackle the closets.

Temperature Dropping

2008-03-26T09:06:00.004-05:00

Because Hell must have froze over- I am laying the last of the carpet.

Pictures to follow.

UPDATE:

That's better, don't you think?

If These Walls Could Talk

2008-03-21T13:54:00.001-05:00

I have been remiss in posting pictures. Here are the granddaughters!

Now for Home Improvement. I meant to do this before I started painting, but you get the general idea. The floor is covered with tar. So because the floor looks so bad, I’m painting the paneling. Makes perfect sense, right?

THIS is the little closet that just had all the wallpaper scraped off it. The truly horrifying thing is, ALL the walls in this house look like that behind the paneling.

I swear, there are days when I think a gallon of gas and a book of matches would be a better deal!

Please Stop!!

2008-03-20T07:16:00.002-05:00

As I came downstairs this morning to wish Old Sarge happy birthday before he left for work, I found him staring in horror at the TV. The local weather was on.

4-7" of snow was being predicted.

Is today not the first day of spring???

I guess I will content myself with a couple gallons of colonial blue paint and try to turn my hallway from a pig's ear into a silk purse. Honestly, I was just going to recarpet and be done with it, but...you know how it is once you start something. Hey, why not paint first!! And take all the wallpaper out of the hall closet just to see the plaster crumble underneath!! Yippee! Indeed, this way lies madness.

My oldest granddaughter gave me the stink eye last night because she couldn't get into her room. "You made a mess, Gramma!"

I sure have!

Almost Bad

2008-03-19T10:21:00.001-05:00

Do you have any idea how lousy I might have felt had I NOT remembered my husband's birthday is tomorrow???

Dust to Dust to Dust...

2008-03-18T09:11:00.002-05:00

Really.

How did I ever find time to work??

Yesterday I went and filed for unemployment. What I thought would take up most of my morning took a grand total of fifteen minutes tops. The irony is, I will be making just slightly less than I was for a 45 hour week during the slow season, without the three fill ups for the Explorer. Sweet! I am finally getting paid for living! AND...since I am a displaced person, i.e. the company sold, I can probably take classes to crosstrain in another profession if I need to.

Unfortunately, that will have to wait until I pull up the carpet in the upstairs hallway- a nasty gold shag circa 1960- and then remove the linoleum tile circa 1940. God only knows what is underneath THAT!

Old Sarge is still nervous because I am at home every day, but now it is more that he is being fed too well- chocolate chip cookies, reubens, homemade potato soup...ah well, I am sure he will man up and endure it.

Psst! I'm Still Here!

2008-03-14T08:45:00.002-05:00

Hey everyone, I am still here and just got the computer at home working home.

Next goal- get ME working again!

So, yeah, it can be said now, my company was sold to Vulcan Materials last Friday. They kept MOST of the employees. I, unfortunately, was not one of them, and I HOPE it's because their dispatch is done near Chicago and I am, shall we say, geographically undesirable. I could live with that.

I've spent this week getting financial crap in order and just catching up on stuff. I may even clean, heaven forbid! And there is a new granddaughter to fuss over. She was born on Sunday and is just gorgeous.

Honestly, I will be posting more. Next week the laptop goes wireless, and that will make things oh so much easier.

Have a wonderful weekend! I have to get ready for luch with the girlfriends!!

The Party's Over

2008-03-06T11:10:00.001-06:00

Press "Yes" to Delete

2008-03-05T14:44:00.001-06:00

I just deleted three posts, which I NEVER do.

If you want to know, email me.

You Gotta Love The Irish

2008-03-05T07:31:00.003-06:00

I got this email from the Beloved DIL, and since St. Patrick's Day is soon approaching thought I'd share it with you:

Paddy was driving down the street in a sweat because he had an important
meeting and couldn't find a parking place. Looking up to heaven he
said, 'Lord take pity on me. If you find me a parking place I will go
to Mass every Sunday for the rest of me life and give up me Irish
Whiskey!'
Miraculously, a parking place appeared. Paddy looked up again and said,
'Never mind, I found one.'
******

Father Murphy walks into a pub in Donegal, and says to the first man
he meets, 'Do you want to go to heaven?' The man said, 'I do, Father.'
The priest said, 'Then stand over there against the wall.'
Then the priest asked the second man, 'Do you want to go to heaven?'
'Certainly, Father,' was the man's reply.
'Then stand over there against the wall,' said the priest.
Then Father Murphy walked up to O'Toole and said, 'Do you want to go to
heaven?'
O'Toole said, 'No, I don't Father.'
The priest said, 'I don't believe this. You mean to tell me that when
you die you don't want to go to heaven?'
O'Toole said, 'Oh, when I die, yes. I thought you were getting a group
together to go right now.'
******

Paddy was in New York .
He was patiently waiting and watching the traffic cop on a busy street
crossing. The cop stopped the flow of traffic and shouted, 'Okay,
pedestrians.' Then he'd allow the traffic to pass. He'd done this
several times, and Paddy still stood on the sidewalk.
After the cop had shouted, 'Pedestrians!' for the tenth time, Paddy went
over to him and said, 'Is it not about time ye let the Catholics
across?'
******

Gallagher opened the morning newspaper and was dumbfounded to read in
the obituary column that he had died. He quickly phoned his best
friend, Finney.
'Did you see the paper?' asked Gallagher. 'They say I died!!' 'Yes, I
saw it!' replied Finney. 'Where are ye callin' from?'
******

An Irish priest is driving down to New York and gets stopped for
speeding in Connecticut . The state trooper smells alcohol on the
priest's breath and then sees an empty wine bottle on the floor of the
car.
He says, 'Sir, have you been drinking?' 'Just water,' says the priest.
The trooper says, 'Then why do I smell wine?'
The priest looks at the bottle and says, 'Good Lord! He's done it
again!'
******

Walking into the bar, Mike said to Charlie the bartender, 'Pour me a
stiff one - just had another fight with the little woman.'
'Oh yeah?' said Charlie, 'And how did this one end?' 'When it was over,'
Mike replied, 'She came to me on her hands and knees.
'Really,' said Charles, 'Now that's a switch! What did she say?'
She said, 'Come out from under the bed, you little chicken.'
******

Flynn staggered home very late after another evening with his drinking
buddy, Paddy.. He took off his shoes to avoid waking his wife, Mary.
He tiptoed as quietly as he could toward the stairs leading to their
upstairs bedroom, but misjudged the bottom step. As he caught himself
by grabbing the banister, his body swung around and he landed heavily on
his rump. A whiskey bottle in each back pocket broke and made the
landing especially painful. Managing not to yell, Flynn sprung up,
pulled down his pants, and looked in the hall mirror to see that his
butt cheeks were cut and bleeding. He managed to quietly find a full
box of Band-Aids and began putting a Band-Aid as best he could on each
place he saw blood.
He then hid the now almost empty Band-Aid box and shuffled and stumbled
his way to bed.
In the morning, Flynn woke up with searing pain in both his head and
butt and Mary staring at him from across the room.
She said, 'You were drunk again last night weren't you?'
Flynn said, 'Why you say such a mean thing?'
'Well,' Mary said, 'it could be the open front door, it could be the
broken glass at the bottom of the stairs, it could be the drops of blood
trailing through the house, it could be your bloodshot eyes, but
mostly.....it's all those Band-Aids stuck on the hall mirror.

I Dream of Beaches

2008-03-04T08:18:00.003-06:00

I am alone at work today, so the big resume push maybe on later. I've been encouraged by other management folks to list my personal accomplishments. Damn. I look impressive- on paper. Too bad I'm fat, fifty and frazzled!

I dreamt last night that Old Sarge and I were somewhere warm, there was a huge beach and clear blue warm water. Fishing and bonfires. Just a beach and water- lots of water.

Of course, I woke and had to pee really bad.

Maybe we should play the lottery thisweek.

Random Crap

2008-03-03T08:44:00.002-06:00

I haven't been able to blog lately, not because there isn't anything to say, but mostly because there is so much I can't say right now.

Clear as mud, right?

And there is only so much doom and gloom a person can write about before it just gets boring.

One month from today is opening day at Wrigley Field. Let the losing begin!

I voted for Sen. McCain in the primaries and hope to do so in November. When you are a military family, he is the only responsible choice, IMHO. One of my cousins was here last week for funerals, (she is from AZ) and even though McCain has been her senator for years, she won't vote for him because she thinks he will draft her youngest son. Old Sarge did his best to let her know how completely stupid that thought was, and how things REALLY are in the world. Her comment, "But that's not what you hear on the news!" Of course not, Allison, for God's sake, don't talk to the people who actually ARE in the military to inform your opinions!

I miss my son terribly. This deployment seems harder for some reason.

My husband is the most wonderful man in the world. Even during those few times when I really hate him, he is the best. I am a lucky woman.

And Now For The Good News

2008-02-28T08:25:00.002-06:00

We have in our family men who have served in the Army, Air Force and Marine Corps.

That is about to change.

My niece, who is graduating from high school this year and is also the valedictorian, has received an ROTC scholarship. After she finishes college, she will be commissioned as an officer in (drum roll please)

THE NAVY!!!

Way to go Rachel, we are so proud of you!

If a Tree Falls in Town...

2008-02-27T08:30:00.002-06:00

If you remember this post, then you know about the Pine Tree From Hell across the street at the Judge's house. It is a very tall, beautiful old pine and, I am convinced, completely rotten on the inside.

Eldest Son had stayed overnight on Monday so that he could be close to the shop when he had to go plow snow in the wee hours of the morning. After he left around 2:00 a.m., I noticed that it was very dark and very quiet in the house. Old Sarge came downstairs and I told him that I thought the power was out. He said, no shit, the TV upstairs is turning itself on and off. He turned on the dining room light and it was blindingly bright. So part of the house had no electricity and part had WAY too much.

About that time Com Ed shows up across the street and cuts all the power. Seems the Pine Tree From Hell has lost some more branches and taken out the transformer this time. They finally get the power restored about 7 a.m., but...we still have no TV, no coffeemaker (oh the humanity!) no phones and no heat.

Thankfully, our plumbing and heating company was prompt, and it only got down to 45 degrees in the house before the furnace was fixed. The power surge blew the transformer inside it.

So, we have a new coffeemaker and one new phone so far, but all our phones were shot, both TVs are history, alarm clocks, power strips, computer, you name it, it's toast. And the refrigerator is humming at an alarming volume.

I seriously need winter to be over, and I think it's time to talk to the Judge about his damn tree.

Wherein My Ass Goes Back To Church

2008-02-21T11:11:00.003-06:00

My mother-in-law was taken to emergency this morning for kidney stones.

Good Lord.

There is reconciliation on Saturdays at 3:30, before the 4:30 Mass. Maybe I had better book the whole hour with Father in advance.

UPDATE:

Only I would need to Google how to make a good confession !

2008 was Supposed to be Better?

2008-02-21T08:40:00.002-06:00

I swear, I am very close to just throwing in the towel on alot of things, this blog included.

I can't begin to tell you what a wonderful weekend I had in Springfield with the Voice of Democracy contestants.

I wouldn't know where to start about the pain of watching the person dearest to you deal with the loss of a parent. And the feeling of helplessness that goes along with it. AND...the knowledge that the day is coming, hopefully not for a very long time, when I will have to go through that very thing.

My dear Aunt Judy died very suddenly on Tuesday. We were close- Old Sarge and I bought her house when she retired and moved to Arizona 6 years ago. That same afternoon, my mom was taken to emergency with chest pains. Her EKG was fine, and maybe it was just the cabbage soup, but still...

So I am numb, and sick. I know I should go to the doctor, but I can't bring myself to do it. More bad news, (like "What do you expect after 30 years of smoking?") is not something I can handle right now.

It Rains, It Pours, It Floods

2008-02-14T06:53:00.002-06:00

My father-in-law passed away suddenly yesterday. He had just gotten out of the hospital that morning, and took a fall. Most of the kids and my mother-in-law were able to be with him when the decision was made to turn off the respirator.

So...I will probably be back on Tuesday.

I'm Back!

2008-02-11T12:51:00.000-06:00

Did I miss anything?

Ice Ice Baby

2008-01-31T13:46:00.000-06:00

Sometimes you can't truly appreciate how bad wind chill can affect the temperature.

This is the gas station I stop at every morning:

You may notice that you can't see in the doors. That is ice- on the inside!

Snowing AGAIN today. I am so done with driving in this shit. I'm taking all next week off, so I'm sure the driving conditions will be wonderful until I return to work!

She Said What?

2008-01-29T11:34:00.000-06:00

A couple of blog entries I have read today just crack me up, and they have to do with exercise. The Smartest Man in the World makes plans to go to the gym but conveniently forgets his gym bag.
And AWTM is going to yoga.

But what really made me laugh at her post? I wasn't wearing my glasses, and when she wrote "...getting there is half the battle" I read it as "BOTTLE".

Once again, a perfect analogy for life is found on the intrawebs.

Getting there is half the bottle...I should change my blog name.

Oh Balls

2008-01-29T09:55:00.000-06:00

Just checked the weather forecast for the umpteenth time today and it SUCKS. It's in the 40's at the moment, but the temperature is supposed to fall all day and the winds will be gusting up to 45 mph. With significant snowfall.

So all the snow that just melted and is puddled everywhere is now going to flash-freeze and get snow-covered. This is SO not a good situation. The wind isn't going to be any picnic either.

I had already decided to take next week off and start the Home Makeover-Jack Ass Acres Edition. I may be starting early.

Waiting...and Hoping...and Praying

2008-01-28T14:18:00.000-06:00

I really try not to read any more news than necessary lately. There's enough worry going on here that I don't need to devil myself with more. But I happened across this article this afternoon, and, that crushing weight that lurks constantly around my heart was right back: Bomb Kills 5 US Soldiers.

Young SGT was on mission today.

My Beloved DIL has assured me that all is well; she hopefully would have gotten a knock on her door before this ever became news. But still, that feeling of not being able to breathe.

And some other families WILL have to go through this for real.

Damn it.

Shhh!!

2008-01-28T09:13:00.000-06:00

My parents' 50th anniversary is this Saturday. My sisters and I have planned a rather large surprize party for them (oh sorry, my brother is helping too- he gets to pay for the open bar). Along the way, my mother has stated that she does not want a party, and planned a trip with Dad to Mississippi, which fortunately ain't gonna happen.

Parents, what do you do with them? This ought to be interesting.

My mom, at 70, is a dynamo. She is on the go constantly, always dressed to the nines. We are not much alike except in looks. My dad, on the other hand..

The other morning, I was leaving for work about 5:00 and Dad is already cruising town in his pickup. I was right behind him, so I called.

RM: Hey, what are you doing up so early?
Dad: I can't hear you.
RM: DAD, I SAID WHAT ARE YOU DOING OUT SO EARLY?
Dad: I can't you hear you!
RM: DAD, IT'S RM, WHAT ARE YOU DOING UP?
Dad: (stops in the middle of the highway) Mother, I'll have to call you back, I can't hear a word.

We had invited my dad's sister from Nashville. Elsie is getting close to 80, I would imagine, and we didn't expect her to come up.

That was stupid on our part.

She checked into chartering a plane, but since that was going to cost $13,000, she is having her housekeeper drive her up instead. My aunt is just a bit of a diva, and I'm sure she will be high-maintenance once she is here. But I can't wait to see her, she has always been one of my favorites. I could listen to her talk for hours, and not for any reason you might think.

See, Elsie has been deaf since she was a very young girl. She had rheumatic fever when she was seven. And ever since I was little, I have loved listening to the deaf talk. It has never ceased to fascinate me. It will be good to talk to her again.

I'm sure I will have more to post as the day gets closer. I have no idea how we are going to pull this all off.

The Angels Must be Singing

2008-01-28T06:56:00.000-06:00

Did you feel a disturbance in the Force this weekend?

Hell freeze over?

SOMETHING must have happened, because...

I have ONE WHOLE WALL of drywall!!

People, I have waited well over a year for this! Granted, there is a lot to be done yet, and Old Sarge isn't known for his trim carpentry skillz, but danm, I have a wall again!!

And, anyone who collects old square-headed nails, let me know. I have tons. Kinda makes me wonder just how old this place really is.

Happy Birthday Princess!

2008-01-25T07:06:00.000-06:00

My daughter is **sniff**sniff** 25 today. Twenty-five on the twenty-fifth.

Seems like just yesterday, honey. Have a wonderful day!

Chuck On a Roll

2008-01-24T12:23:00.000-06:00

Chuck Z has a way with words that I am most envious of. He has a post up wondering who to vote for now that Fred Thompson has dropped out of the race.

Read the whole post, but here is the money shot for me:

And unless I am mistaken, not a one of them has said "What we are doing in Iraq is working, I support the reconstruction and rebuilding efforts and the Iraqi people's continued struggle against islamofacism, and I will continue to use the military and intel communities to hunt down and kill every last terrorist and terrorist supporting asshat in the world. Also, Iran is next, unless Syria gets feisty. And I will immediately double all military pay,and not spend one dollar on welfare until the needs of ever soldier, especially our wounded or deployed soldiers, and their families are met. Similarly, I will submit a bill to congress granting permanent tax relief from all taxes to the immediate family--spouse, children, and parents, of any soldier killed in action. Their soldier has paid for them in full the cost of all of the fruits of our nation."

That's what I call supporting the troops and their mission.

Chuck is having surgery again today, I believe. #35!

Great White North

2008-01-24T11:59:00.000-06:00

It was -19 degrees outside when I left for work this morning.

It has since warmed up to 0.
But the windchill is -18 .

Tammi, I would shovel your driveway for you, but I'm afraid I would end up being a lawn statue.

UPDATE:

Alas, I have been bitten by the deadly and largely fictional Snow Snake. I must immediately seek the cure.

Or start carrying a hip flask.

I Have a Dream

2008-01-23T13:17:00.000-06:00

That one day, Sarge's Tavern will be a reality.

Microbrewery and grill.

Please leave your advice for a business plan in the comments!

Winter Blues

2008-01-23T10:08:00.000-06:00

That is what passes for sunlight here in the Frozen North.

After getting about 8" of snow yesterday, (which resulted in me playing hooky) it is snowing again.

There are not enough dryer sheets in the world to take the static electricity out of our clothes at this point.

Despite slathering lotion on myself at every opportunity, my fingertips and knuckles are still cracking.

I love having four seasons, I honestly do. But Winter, she is being a complete BITCH this year!

For The Smokers

2008-01-21T13:48:00.000-06:00

I was forwarded this heads-up from State Rep. Robert Pritchard's news letter. Here is the link for HB4814.

The gist of it is, there is a bill being considered that will exempt certain establishments from the No-Smoking Bill. Interestingly enough, and predictably, a smoking license is mentioned.

Bits and Pieces

2008-01-21T09:24:00.000-06:00

Sometimes I feel like I have so much to blog about, and just won't take the time to write a decent post.

* I am still staring at the blank paper that should be my resume.

* My daughter has set a wedding date and reserved a facility. My baby is really getting married!

* I have talked to Young SGT- he has been blown up by 9 IEDs in just two months. Whatever we are spending for those new MRAPs, it is worth every penny and then some.

* I gave a short speech last weekend at a banquet and had at least three gentlemen come up afterwards to shake my hand. For content or brevity, I have no idea.

* My granddaughter has turned three, and her sister makes her arrival in eight weeks!

* What is the big deal about Hannah Montana??? My niece turned 5 yesterday, and instead of Barbies, it was all about Hannah Montana.

Emily Post?? Miss Manners???

2008-01-21T08:19:00.000-06:00

I think I have so much stress in my life that I invent shit to worry about just to "change the scenery", so to speak.
I got my beautiful red skirt and blouse Friday. It fits wonderfully and looks better than I could have hoped for.

Then I made the mistake of re-reading the required dress for this banquet: cocktail

Shit. My dress is tea length.

Now, I have googled and wikipedia'd myself to a frenzy wondering how bad it will be to wear a longer dress. My knees and legs are scarred and icky and I rarely even wear shorts in the summer- I DON'T show my LEGS!

And I can't find anything to help with the men's dress- it is tuxedo, but red tie and cumberbund. Red? Not black tie or white tie, but red.

I am in over my head when it comes to fashion and etiquette.

The Doctor's Visit

2008-01-18T09:40:00.000-06:00

Hate going to the doctor. Hate it, hate it, hate it! But my knee has been causing so much agony, I finally sucked it up and went. And you know what?

It wasn't nearly as bad as I thought!

When I had my right knee fixed over two years ago, Dr. G had to switch mid-surgery from a cartilege repair to removal, the damage was that bad. Thank God I didn't wait as long this time to go, because surgery is off the table for now, and he gave me some interesting options. We're going to start with the steroid injection I got yesterday, and if that doesn't help, there is a procedure to inject fluid into the knee that acts as a shock absorber and helps reduce pain.

The REALLY great part is that I asked if that procedure would benefit my right knee also, and he says it will. So if that's the route we go, I get both knees fixed! Yippee!

Question Please

2008-01-18T07:10:00.001-06:00

Does anyone out there know how long it takes for a cortisone shot to take effect?

Pros and Cons of No-Smoking Bill

2008-01-16T12:29:00.000-06:00

Illinois passed a sweeping no-smoking bill that took effect on January 1st. How's it doing?

I have talked to three bar owners, and their revenue is down significantly. People aren't hanging around as long.

One person was cited down in Dixon for smoking in their car too close to a drive-through window. Really.

Personally...it isn't bothering me much. Old Sarge and I quit 2 1/2 years ago and when I started back, I chose not to smoke in the house anymore. My office has always supposed to have been non-smoking, but everyone did anyway, until now. And at the VF*n*W, it's not that big a deal for me to go outside if I choose to.

Upside, I smoke less than half a pack a day. That is HUGE for me!

But I do have a bitch with the whole thing, and it's that CHOICE thing.
It would have been better to let the bars CHOOSE to be smoke-free or not.
I like the fact that I CHOOSE not to smoke at home.

I sincerely resent having the State of Illinois babysit me.

DIVORCE

2008-01-10T07:43:00.000-06:00

I think that's gonna happen if Old Sarge finds out I used the credit card again.

See, next month is the Voice of Democracy Banquet in Springfield. Very formal event.
And while I have 4 or 5 appropriate dresses, I have worn them there before and this year I am at the head table.

I had to have a new dress, right???

After consulting with my daughter, this might also be a great dress for the wedding in a year. Her colors will be deep red and silver. I hope it's okay for the mother of the bride to wear crimson.

I do have a gripe though. I ordered this through a company that sells plus size fashions. Those of you who know me, well, you know I'm a tad bit LUMPY! If full-figured means morbidly obese, I'm your gal!! So what I really wanted to see was how that dress fit on someone with MY proportions, not a stick figure!

(Maybe because it wouldn't sell if we KNEW how bad we were going to look!)

Creepy Mannerisms

2008-01-09T14:34:00.000-06:00

I can be strange, I freely admit that. But there has been something bugging the crap out of me every time I see John Edwards on TV:

Aside from the pouty little curled lip, it's that hand gesture! That thumb-on-top-of-the-fist point that just makes me crazy!

No! I have no idea why!!

Obsession

2008-01-07T10:24:00.000-06:00

You would think, wouldn't you, that with all the people coming in and out of my office now (and these are not customers, these are sale-related folks) that I might TRY to look busy and hope to secure myself a position with the new owners.

Good lord, look at my desk.

At the top, we have a very delicate shell-stitch baby blanket in the works. This is for New Baby, who will be making her appearance in March. I have to wear my glasses to work on it, so when my eyes get tired I can switch to:

The new blue afghan, three strands of yarn, single crochet, that will be gracing some Joe's bed in Iraq very shortly. I can do this one without looking.

Not only that, but my mother, with whom I have a rather contentious relationship with, has offered to help me with afghans for overseas. Baby steps, kids, baby steps.

Old Sarge understands and fears the Yarn Fix. Bless his heart.

Sarah, I wonder if there are help groups for people like us?

Random Thoughts

2008-01-07T07:39:00.000-06:00

I think I am close to seeing it all...

My 6'3", Marine, rough as a cob son playing Barbies with his 3-year-old daughter.

My daughter has found the PERFECT wedding dress- for $99.
*sniff* *sniff* I am SO proud!!!

My daughter-in-law just moved into her and Young SGT's new house and this was her welcome. Can someone tell me if that is a terrible misuse of the word "victim"???

Old Sarge was in awe yesterday that I could pick out the Voice of Democracy winner before the winners were announced. The girls in jeans? Forget it. The little gal in a nice skirt and sherpa boots? Nope. The young lady that looked like she could have been a poster girl for young Republicans and wore gloves?? Yep, we have a winnah!

I have said for years, if you want to be taken seriously in a serious competition, no butts, bellies or boobs!

Guest Speaker

2008-01-04T09:42:00.000-06:00

That's me. Sunday. THIS Sunday. I am the Department's representative at a Voice of Democracy Banquet in Monmouth and do you think I can come up with anything to say??

"Thanks for inviting me, congratulations to all the winners, your roast beef was dry and there are other vegetables than green beans, well, so long, gotta make that 2 1/2 hour drive home!"

Somehow I don't think that would be polite.

But the sooner I get this done, the sooner I can get back to crocheting.

Nuts

2008-01-03T07:25:00.000-06:00

The meeting didn't go very well.

I'll be working on a resume for the first time in MANY years.

KBR lists 14 dispatcher positions in Iraq and one in Afghanistan.

Why the hell not??

UPDATE:
I did it! I applied!

Now, since obesity is a disqualifier, where can I find Alli??

Just a Thought

2008-01-02T07:51:00.000-06:00

Did you eat icicles as a kid?

As a homeowner now, knowing full well the condition of your roof and gutters, would you ever do it again?

OH......Barnacles!

2007-12-28T06:56:00.000-06:00

This is the weather forecast for today:

SNOW WILL RAPIDLY OVERSPREAD NORTHERN ILLINOIS BY MID MORNING BECOMING HEAVY AT TIMES DURING THE LATE MORNING AND EARLY AFTERNOON HOURS... GENERALLY BETWEEN ABOUT 10 AM AND 2 PM. DURING THIS TIME... SNOWFALL RATES OF AN INCH OR TWO PER HOUR ARE LIKELY. TOTAL SNOW ACCUMULATIONS UP TO 6 INCHES CAN BE EXPECTED BY THE TIME THE SNOW TAPERS TO FLURRIES LATE THIS AFTERNOON.

So of course, this is the afternoon that I am supposed to meet T1G and Tammi at Fritz's.

Dammit! Just hold off until tonight, PLEASE!

UPDATE:

This is not boding well.

Up Above The Northern Lights

2007-12-21T08:50:00.000-06:00

From the Archives

2007-12-21T08:23:00.000-06:00

While I was hunting around for something else, I found this in my archives from two years ago. Some things never change.

A Christmas Poem by Raging Mom

Once upon a Christmas dreary, while I pondered, bleak not cheery,
Over many a box of forgotten angels and reindeer-
Sorting through the tangled lights, blues and reds and greens and whites,
Giving up without a fight, and cursing for all to hear.

Snowmen that have lost heir heads, moldy, crusty gingerbread,
How all this came to pass I have no clue.
A burnt out socket on the wall, broken glass from clear red balls,
A Christmas tree that's far too tall, and really ugly too.

A half-price pre-lit tree from Ace, sturdy with a metal base,
Those lights they mock me as they all stay dark.
Elusive slippery shiny garland, Fishing Santa's hook in my hand,
I cracked my head on the tree stand, damn, that'll leave a mark.

Mr. & Mrs. Santa dolls, a singing Rudolph on the wall,
The mantel guarded by the fierce nutcrackers.
We've got the star, we've got the sled, I've decorated til I'm dead
And now this poem has to end..

Because the only thing I can think of to rhyme with Nutcracker is butt smacker, and that just ain't right.

Candle in the Window

2007-12-20T14:07:00.000-06:00

I found this over at @WR's site posted by BGE, and it is entirely appropriate.

A Candle in the Window

There’s a candle in the window
For our soldier off at war,
Standing constant vigil ’til
His foreign tour is o’er.

The sentinel stands faithfully
Through day and dark of night,
Reminding all who look its way,
To pray for Freedom’s fight.

For safety and for courage,
And for wisdom do we pray;
That God may grant him all these things
As his Comrade day by day.

Now stand, O Candle, bright and tall,
Alert us all, each one,
That the price of freedom is not cheap,
And its battle not yet done.

So light his way and burn for him,
And for his safe returning;
Our love will be the fuel that keeps
Our soldier’s candle burning.

@WR has gone on walkabout, apparently, and I hope he knows he's in our prayers.

A Moment of Grace

2007-12-20T08:45:00.000-06:00

It happens every Christmas.

House bursting with Santas, snowmen and sleds. Cookies and fudge ready for any random visitors, the smell of cinnamon and sugar-cookie candles filling the house. The tree is beautiful, if lacking much in the way of presents just yet.

I can sit on the couch at night with the lights off, just taking in the beauty of it all.

And wait.

See, every year I feel like I have a candle inside, waiting for a spark, for that one thing to happen that will make it really seem like Christmas. A moment of grace, as it were.

I think I got it yesterday.

I was on my way from work to pick up the granddaughter, sitting at a traffic light waiting to turn left. There was a convenience store parking lot to my left, cleared of snow, but on the corner was a mailbox with almost a foot of packed snow and ice all around. An elderly woman had pulled up there, and was standing, mail in hand, at the edge of the snow, trying to figure out how best to step up on that icy shelf without falling. I kept glancing over; at one point she bent down to the snowbank to steady herself, but still, could not find the confidence to lift her foot up.

I can understand that. My knees, NC and TC, (no cartilege and torn cartilege) strongly advise me not to tempt the ice. But...

Yep, she's still standing there. I pulled into the parking lot.

RM: Ma'am, can I help you?
Elderly Lady: I'm just scared to death I'm going to slip and fall!
RM: I don't blame you. Let me put those in for you.

I took her letters, and gingerly walked across the ice, begging NC and TC all the while not to literally let me down.

EL: If it's past the pickup time, don't mail them.
RM: Pickup's at 4:15, they haven't been here yet.
EL: Oh good. Look at you, just walzing right up to that box!

Flailing of arms and walking like you have a cob up your butt is now considered walzing in the Frozen Tundra.

RM: There you go!
EL: (laying a hand on my arm) oh you dear! You are just my Christmas angel!
RM: Have a merry Christmas!

I got back in my car and headed on my way. Bawling like a baby. That happens alot lately.

I don't know why I need this. And it is such a small thing. Maybe it's just to reassure myself that I still have some humanity and compassion left, especially when there are too many days I feel myself to be mean and rude and self-absorbed.

But the lights on the tree looked especially lovely last night.

News from Iraq

2007-12-20T06:25:00.000-06:00

Wow!
Got this in my email this morning. For those wondering how Young SGT is doing, well, he can tell you.

Snowman Stories

2007-12-19T10:31:00.000-06:00

Richmond has a cartoon up, which reminded me of a story.

When the Eldest Son was a senior in high school, he had an old truck that he was so proud of, having bought it himself. He and his friends cruised around constantly in it, being the football jocks that they were.

Imagine my horror one morning just before Christmas when I looked out the window to see an anatomically improbable snowman standing in the bed of the truck.

I have no idea how long it had been there.

Gives this a whole new meaning.

And So It Begins

2007-12-18T07:27:00.000-06:00

HOULTON, Maine — A 38-year-old Houlton native and decorated career soldier who was killed in Iraq on Friday will be laid to rest in a Houlton cemetery Saturday.
Army Sgt. 1st Class Jonathan Allen Lowery, who originally was from Houlton, died in Mosul, Iraq, on Dec. 14 when enemy forces attacked his unit.
He died of wounds he suffered during the gunbattle.
He was assigned to the 3rd Squadron, 3rd Armored Cavalry Regiment, III Corps, Fort Hood, Texas.

Godspeed, SFC Lowery.

H/T Bangor News

I Loved You Longer

2007-12-17T18:00:00.000-06:00

Dan Fogelberg 1951-2007

Update:

I couldn't let this one go unheard.

You know the One Big Love of your life? Maybe the First Big Love? I had one, I think I still do in some ways, although many, many years have passed. I saw him, a little over a year after Eldest Son was born and I was visiting back here in Illinois. We went to a high school basketball game, then drove around, just talking, wondering why "WE" just never got together, why I was married to someone else, and him engaged. And still, you could feel it, that feeling that something important had been missed, something deep and enduring.

For The Joy Of It

2007-12-17T12:09:00.000-06:00

Yesterday was the Christmas Party at our VF*n*W, which includes free Tom & Jerry's, a potluck and Christmas raffles. Old Sarge, Eldest Son and I went over for it, crappy roads not withstanding, and met friends and family there. Hilarity ensued.

Not many people may understand this commitment to VFW and our Post. Maybe there's been a bad experience with a Post being just a smoke-filled canteen- hey, fourteen more days and we go smoke-free! Thank you Big Government for dictating to a PRIVATE VETERANS CLUB on what's good for us!
(Focus) Or maybe folks weren't nice, whatever. Maybe they are all old.

We aren't like that.

So, our table is getting verbally abused because we are winning so many raffles. well, between my friend Di, my sister and I, there's $300 tied up in raffle tickets, so...too bad. But it's good natured. Towards the end of raffles, two brothers at an adjacent table start making paper airplanes out of the placemats. I might mention that they are late 70's-early 80's. And DAMN fine makers of airplanes! Our table started getting bombarded because we are winning so much, then everyone starts flying airplanes. Probably close to 200 people, from age 12 (my nephew) to ancient, laughing, carrying on, trying to bean each other with planes. This lasted nearly half an hour..
And you know what? it was just plain fun.

More Holiday Cheer

2007-12-14T07:40:00.000-06:00

As promised, more holiday recipes!

Irish Cream

1 can sweetened condensed milk
4 eggs
1/2 tsp. each of:
vanilla extract
almond extract
coconut flavoring
1 TB chocolate syrup
1/4 c. Rich's non-dairy creamer
1 c. whiskey

Mix all in blender; refrigerate.

Grandma's Egg Nog

Beat 6 egg yolks
Add 1 c. sugar; blend.
Add 2 pints vanilla ice cream
Add milk to desired consistency

Beat 6 egg whites seperately and fold in.
When serving, add one shot of whiskey and top with nutmeg

Ice Blogging

2007-12-12T07:44:00.000-06:00

I must admit, since I had my accident in February, I am a complete wuss about driving. I hate it. So when yesterday's forecast of ice came out, I opted to be *cough*cough* sick and stay at home.

We have a neighbor across the street, a local judge, who has a huge pine in his yard. Two weeks ago, the previous ice storm had caused one of the branches on this mammoth tree to fall and it made a big mess in his yard. Luckily, the power lines to the house were okay. Old Sarge saw the Judge trying to cut this branch up with a little hand saw, and went over with his chain saw to help him out. I was quite proud of him for taking the initiative.

Well, yesterday I am catching up on housework when I hear what sounds like a gunshot *CRACK*, then THUMP! It scared the bejesus out of me, thinking maybe the front porch had fallen in from the ice dam that's built up. I looked out the window, and no, it's another branch off the Judge's tree, only this one is over two feet in diameter at one end, and has taken out part of the split-rail fence AND the power lines this time. I called my sister-in-law at the courthouse to see if the Judge is working, and to give him the message.

The Judge comes home to survey the damage, and all afternoon there is tree-trimming and electrical repair being done. Finally at sundown everyone leaves, and lights are on in the house. About an hour later, I stepped outside for a smoke; all is quiet and the Judge's wife is playing the piano across the street. All of a sudden-

*CRACK*
*THUMP*

(lights out across the street)

As much as I hate to see trees get cut down, I think it's time for this one to go. Too bad the Judge is a teetotaler, or I would have brought over a bottle of Kahlua.

Someone Stop me

2007-12-10T11:44:00.000-06:00

I can't help it- she is so darn cute! From this weekend's VF*n*W Kids Christmas Party:

Charming Mrs. Santa

With Santa

Winning Prizes in Ice Fishing

You're Welcome!!

2007-12-10T06:43:00.000-06:00

I have noticed that so many other bloggers are putting up recipes and tales of weekend baking. I'm with you, sisters, I've been doing much of the same! So I am going to post an old family recipe for your after-baking experience. or...during-baking experience, who cares!

Have you priced a bottle of Kahlua lately? I did- $20. I love Kahlua, with cream, or in my coffee, on the rocks- that is some tasty stuff. But I don't want to spend alot, AND I needed some stocking stuffers. So, courtesy of JackAss Acres Distillery, here is my recipe for coffee-flavored liquer for your holiday enjoyment:

5 cups strong coffee
3 cups sugar

Boil until sugar is dissolved, Remove from heat; add 1/3 cup of instant coffee.
When completely cooled, add a fifth of vodka and one vanilla bean broken in pieces. Store for three weeks.

NOW...if you live in a small berg like me, vanilla beans may be hard to come by. Plus, waiting three weeks to decant? I don't have that kind of storage pot to spare. For more instant gratification, you may substitute 1/3 cup vanilla extract with no ill effects and your liquer is ready immediately.

It really tastes like Kahlua, and I made a triple batch- yielding 7 fifths and a pint mason jar- for under $40.

Just my little Christmas gift to you! Next up- Irish Cream!

Wreaths Across America

2007-12-07T11:11:00.001-06:00

Remember this from last year?

For anyone in the Northern Illinois area interested in participating, Old Sarge and I will be going the the Rock Island Arsenal on Saturday, December 15th for the ceremony at the National Cemetery there at 11:00.

Hiatus is Over

2007-12-07T10:58:00.000-06:00

Well, where to start?

I have missed more work due to illness in December than in the past 10 years. Not an auspicious way to end the year, is it? Whatever it is, I can't get rid of it, and I'm positive my smoking is not helping. Illinois goes smoke-free January 1st. Despite the fact I hate the nanny-state aspect of that, it may be a blessing in disguise.

My Exploder mysteriously decided to puke three wheel bearings to the tune of $1000. Right before Christmas, of course. Needless to say, the tree is up but there are no presents under it at the moment.

My friend Nancy passed away last Saturday. She wanted a party, and we did our best, although I will admit to crying like a little girl at her funeral. The girlfriends all did minitinis (a shot of vodka with an olive) in her honor. To which I promptly puked up- what is it about olives??? They look so yummy to me and I really really want to eat them. Right up to the point that I try to swallow and my gag reflex kicks right in. Blech- snot and olives, what a mess.

So, now that I have all that gloom and despair off my chest, I'll try to get back in the swing of things. Maybe some Trans Siberian Orchestra is in order tonight, with some hot chocolate and Bailey's.

Miss Me?

2007-12-04T06:57:00.000-06:00

Good heavens, what a week! Let me get caught up with paperwork and whatnot and I'll tell you all about it. In the meantime, the world's cutest granddaughter:

File Under: G*d, am I Old!

2007-11-26T07:45:00.000-06:00

***sniff***sniff***

My baby girl is getting MARRIED!!

A Day in the Life

2007-11-23T07:37:00.000-06:00

Blogging around here has been pretty sporadic, I know. I feel like I may owe some explanation, because I DO enjoy writing, and reading the comments here, but my time is not my own for now.
Aside from having two of the boys deployed, which pegs my stress meter right there, I have taken on way too much responsibility with the Ladies Auxiliary VFW. I have positions at the Auxiliary, District and Department (state) level. I am constantly struggling to keep up and not take time away from my family because of this. VFW was a choice both Old Sarge and I made, because it gave us a chance to help, and we gladly do so. But there are times when it is just too much paperwork and political manuevering. This is one of those times. Add in:
We lost one of our very good Auxiliary members Wednesday. Her visitation and funeral are Saturday. In addidtion to the monthly steak fry we were already committed to on Saturday night, there's that. And a dish to pass.
On Sunday, the Department is coming through for a Dues Drive. At my Post. As membership chairman, guess who's doing lunch?
I have to pick up the Granddaughter at 6 tonight, since Eldest Son can't so it. I need to be In Rochelle getting things ready for the weekend.

AND...and this is a biggie...one of my friends from my former Auxiliary is dying. She had asked me to see her through this. She can't leave the house anymore, so we can't sit and have a drink and smoke at her Post anymore. I need to go see her. I need to be the kind of friend she expects me to be, for her as much as my personal view of myself. I just haven't managed to be three places at once.
And did I mention I have two boys in Iraq?

So, if there's nothing new being posted here, it's not that stuff isn't happening. I'm just a bit overwhelmed at the moment.

Giving Thanks

2007-11-21T14:13:00.001-06:00

I have not had much time to blog this week, but I DO wish all of you a very Happy Thanksgiving!

Soldier Update

2007-11-19T11:09:00.000-06:00

Just in case anyone is interested, Young SGT has made it safely to his new base, and Son #2 left yesterday morning for Kuwait. Now, if any of you are interested in sending cards or care packages, leave an email address when you sign into the comments (in case I don't already have it)and I will pass along addresses for the boys.

Oh Happy Day!

2007-11-19T07:41:00.000-06:00

Okay, boys, we gotta a deer and a new Food Saver and a new meat grinder. All we have to do is locate an attachment to make deer sticks and it's all good!!!!

Your parents love you, you know that, right?

Tis The (Deer) Season

2007-11-16T13:38:00.000-06:00

After reading this post at AWTM's, I can SO relate! All I have heard about for a few months now is deer, deer and more deer.

So far, Old Sarge has shot an 8-point, which promptly jumped the property line to an adjoining field. It dropped twice, and (OS has high hopes at this point) walked to the edge of the neighbor's woods, where it is greeted by about 5 shotgun blasts fron the trees.

It's a jungle out there.

So repeat after me:

Please let Old Sarge get a deer, please let Old Sarge get a deer, please let Old Sarge get a deer...

What a Homecoming

2007-11-16T09:55:00.000-06:00

I really think I'd liketo fly to Olympia this weekend and kick some hippie ass. Anyone want to come?

I hope there are decent people up there that are giving our soldiers COMING HOME FROM A WAR a better welcome than these assholes.

H/T Michelle Malkin

Extended Family Update

2007-11-15T07:00:00.000-06:00

Pardon me if this blog occassionally gets a little family-oriented. When you have kids all over hell and creation, as I do, some of them will check in here to see what's up with the family.

Last night was my nephew Will's birthday party. He is NINE, can you believe it?? He is the one in the grey shirt.
His brother Connor is the little cutie in glasses. Jake has his arm around Ella, trying to get her to hold still.
And then there is Joe in the back. I try not to have favorites, but...his parents ride the crap out of him, and he can be so sweet.
He has shot three deer this fall. With a bow. And he is TWELVE!
Oh, and his voice is starting to change. It made me want to laugh and cry at the same time.

Here There Be Morons

2007-11-14T11:25:00.000-06:00

Before he left for Iraq, Young SGT sent me this to wear:

It's his unit crest, and while it is distressingly Packer-ish in its color, I have worn it everyday since I got it. I intend to wear it everyday until he comes home, and that means work, days off, formal events, you name it. It came from him and I treasure it.

Now on Mondays, I like to play Bar Bingo at the VF*n*W in my hometown. There is a woman that comes in every night- we will call her Drunk Sue, because her name is Sue and I have never seen her sober. She's very annoying and tries to ingratiate herself to everyone. Not the kind of member I would have recruited, but hey, it's not my Post. This past Monday, she decides she needs to talk to me.

DS: I really like your blouse.
(it's purple, by the way)
RM: Thank you.
DS: That's a good color for you.
RM: Thank you.
DS: Your pin doesn't match though.
RM: It's not a pin, it's a unit crest, actually.
DS: But it doesn't match.
RM: I think it matches everything I wear.
DS: No! No it doesn't!
RM: Okay, Drunk Sue, I wear it to honor my son, and to let people know which side of things I'm on.
DS: I don't get it.
RM: That's because you are a fucking idiot.

At this point, she moves to a spot across the bar and I reminded (again) by the bartender that profanity is frowned upon. She was laughing when she said it though.

Does anyone else do this? Give out subtle signs that say "hell yes, I stand on the side our military and their mission!"? Just wondering. I know military families are pretty rare here in God's Country, but good lord, how stupid can people be?

Whoops, no, really!

2007-11-14T06:53:00.000-06:00

I forgot my Nextel this morning.

I have been sleeping with it, just in case, you know, Young SGT has a chance to call.

This is a company phone, and it rings nearly as often as my office phone. Plus, since it is a two-way radio, this is how my drivers call me. It's the first time in over ten years that I haven't had it.

Somehow, I am perversely delighted.

November is for Veterans

2007-11-12T08:18:00.000-06:00

First of all, let me thank everyone who participated in the Valour-IT fundraiser. The person who was the highest bidder on my quilt has a very special place in my heart, and although I do not know her, must be a truly wonderful person. All I can say is that the recipient of my quilt is going to be very happy.

I sincerely hope everyone was able to thank a veteran this Sunday. They deserve our thanks everyday. This past week, it was really brought home to our family how tragic life can be at times, and deployments add alot of misery to an already heartbreaking situation. For those that know, thank you for your prayers, and Tammi, thank you for being such a good friend.

Now.

This entire week, starting on Veterans Day, is National Veterans Awareness Week. So if you missed doing something special for a veteran yesterday, hey! You've got ALL WEEK! Send a package overseas, drop off some gourmet coffee to a recruiting station, visit a vet in a nursing home, hell the possibilities are endless!

November 18th-24th is National Military Family Week. You know the routine!

Valour-IT Update

2007-11-11T20:00:00.000-06:00

Gah! I can't log into the auction site to get this picture in, in fact I'm not even listed as the donator any more, BUT...

Really, please go bid on this!

UPDATE: this post will stay on top through the weekend. Now, the embroidery you can see there says "Illinois Supports Our Troops". I hope Illinois can do better than $27 for that quilt!!!!!

HB USMC

2007-11-09T09:55:00.000-06:00

I don't have my laptop ready for Internet yet, so I'm not much of a weekend blogger. Lest I forget, Happy Birthday to the United States Marines Corps on Saturday!

T1G, Eric, you guys rock!

More Deployment News.

2007-11-07T09:18:00.000-06:00

We just got word that Son #2 now has a firm (yeah right) departure date of the 18th, which means he and Young SGT should have a week overlapping in Kuwait. Hopefully they'll be able to get together. Son #4 is thinking it will be April before he goes, so that gives a little bit of a break.

Valour-IT Auction

2007-11-07T09:04:00.001-06:00

Oh crap! I nearly forgot! I promised a quilt for TEAM AIR FORCE for Valour-IT!!

Well, it is up for auction now. Please help out and place a bid on my beautiful quilt!

The Good-Bye Post

2007-11-06T07:00:00.000-06:00

Well. That day, the one I knew was coming, has come and gone. Young Sgt is on his way to Kuwait, then on to Iraq. I had asked Some Soldier’s Mom if I could excerpt parts of this post, because no one has ever said it better. I keep this bookmarked for the times when I really need to know someone else gets it.

People -- especially other mothers -- tell me that they can not imagine what that would be like... that they would be a basket case 24 hours a day. Yes, that's it. It's like you live standing on your tippy-toes every day your child is away... and you live on the edge of breathlessness... a mental asthma attack gasping and gasping for strength and sanity and peace of mind. On the outside, we smile bravely and say, "you find the strength." And we do find the strength, but the truth is that we really only find distractions from our worry, our anxiety, our heartache.
We go to jobs. We try to maintain some semblance of our lives, but those lives have changed. And we blog. We write letters. We send cards. We shop for things to send our soldiers. We pack things for our soldiers. We stand in line at the post office to mail things to our soldiers.
We talk about them. We live for the opportunity to talk with them. Then we talk to others about what we talked about with our soldiers. And we wait for another chance to talk to them again.

That anxiety...it’s a constant little alert going off in your mind, a sentinal of your awareness checking for the slightest change in the unknown.

We listen for our phones... for the special rings we have programmed so we know if we have to answer that call. We forward phones; we pull to the side of the road to text message back to our soldiers; we give up our place in grocery store lines to run outside so the reception on the phone is better when they call. We get used to the smiling stares from people when we say, "I'm sorry, I have to take this call... my son is calling from Iraq." And we wouldn't care if they did mind -- we're taking that call no matter what.

And I have done that- kept my phone on in meetings, walking out suddenly when it rings and caller ID tells you, yes, it’s him!

We cry. We cry when they haven't called or written and we cry when they do. We cry because we miss them and because we are so frightened for them. We cry when they leave and when they return and then leave again... We find that the smallest of things make us teary-eyed... walking in their room... seeing a picture... seeing a soldier. Watching the news, reading the news, hearing the news. Yes, we cry. There's nothing like a good cry to set your head straight.

God, do I cry. Me, who never cried when my grandparents or close friends have died, cry every time I hear Darryl Worley on the radio.

We can not see a soldier anywhere without approaching them and thanking them and telling them that we, too, have a soldier.... because we all know that all soldiers have the same blood and speaking with that soldier makes us feel like we are talking to our soldier. We hug them if they let us -- and we hug them whenever we can. And we know somewhere there is a mom thanking us for taking the time to talk to (and for hugging) her soldier. She would do the same for me.
If we can not speak to that John Doe soldier, we smile wistfully... we get a pang... and our eyes may fill with tears knowing that when we look at that soldier, we are looking at our own soldier. Ask any soldier's mom -- she'll tell you... It's a universal response.
And mixed with this fear and longing is pride. Indescribable pride for these children of ours. Pride that they made the choice to serve. Pride that they accepted the challenge and met it spectacularly! Pride that they do their jobs under the most extraordinary of circumstances. We often ask ourselves, "Did I raise this person?" "How could I have done things so right?" We know we are blessed to have these spectacular creatures in our lives.

I just can’t say it any better than that.

So, we have said our good-byes for now, and made our promises to each other: that he will take care and come home safe, and we will send anything he needs and take care of his wife as much as she lets us. (love you, DIL!)
No words of what if or anything, just love and support as it should be.

Toil and Trouble

2007-11-05T12:20:00.000-06:00

I seem to remember telling Richmond that we should compare Halloween photos:

Ahem. I am the one on the left.

One of my sisters and her daughter. Hard to believe we come from the same gene pool, isn’t it?

The granddaughter and my dad. She decided to be a princess after all.